Full Confidence

Proverbs 31:11

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

Ross is a mechanical engineer-which is very much a male-dominated field. Most of the people he interacts with everyday are men in their 30's-40's who have young families. A LOT of what they talk about revolves around family life- what their wives and kids are up to.

One man would tell stories of how he would come home from work, go into their bathroom and find vomit on the floor. "Who threw up in here!?!" he would shout. His wife had no idea that one of their children had vomited. Other days one of his children would call 911 while his wife was in the shower or there was the time when she came into the kitchen to find the baby had crawled up on to the counter to get into the cookie jar.

Another man would complain that his wife would come home with armfuls of shopping bags from the mall.

These men do NOT have full confidence in their wives. The first wonders what she does all day with the children. Does she actually pay attention to them? The second wonders if his wife can be trusted with the credit card. Is she capable of spending our money wisely?

My question for you today is: Does your husband have full confidence in you?

- Full confidence in your love and admonition for the LORD

- Full confidence in your faithfulness to your husband

- Full confidence in your ability to make wise shopping decisions (not just spontaneous ones)

- Full confidence in your ability to care for your children

- Full confidence in your ability to care for your home

- Full confidence in your ability to drive your family around safely (I'm not kidding here...)

Are you lacking in any of the above areas? What can you do about it? First, I hope you pray that God would give you what you need to be fully trustworthy in these areas. Secondly, I hope you find someone who can help you. Do you need to take a Christian course on budgeting? Do you need someone to show you how to properly clean your home? Do you need to put the cell phone away while you drive?

When your husband is fully confident in you, he will lack nothing of value. The men that Ross works with spend time worrying about what their wives were doing. If your husband has full confidence in you, he doesn't need to worry. Instead, he can rejoice in the gift that you are to his life. He can thank God that he has a wife who only has eyes, ears, hands, etc... for him. He can rest in peace knowing that you love and care for his children well. He can be eager to come home knowing that you have taken special care of his and your possessions.

Does your husband have full confidence in you? If not, ask him ways in which you can grow towards that confidence. Be humble and ready to change. If so, rejoice in both the love and trust of your dear husband.

More than Rubies

Proverbs 31:10

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^{10 [a]} A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

A few weeks ago, we looked at Proverbs 12:4 which says that a wife of noble character is her "husband's crown." And here she is again : )

I think it is so fitting that this verse begins the passage. It won't be long before we see how hard this woman works- but right now, we are just going to focus on her noble character.

What does a wife of noble character look like?

- She's kind. She does thoughtful things for her family.

- She's humble. She doesn't think that she is "above" any one or any chore that may need to be done.

- She's patient. With the husband who hasn't fixed the sink yet and the children that are constantly making messes.

- She's honest. She shares her whole heart with her husband and doesn't mislead her children.

- She's gracious. She doesn't hold grudges, but remembers that everyone in her home is a sinner.

- She's hopeful. She knows that God is at work in her and in her family. She is excited for what He is doing.

Her character directs her towards her good deeds.

- A kind wife makes favorite desserts and writes love notes in lunchboxes.

- A humble wife changes diapers and cleans toilets.

- A patient wife picks up mess after mess, day after day, with a smile on her face.

- An honest wife tells the truth about her children's ages, even if it means spending more money at amusement parks, movie theaters and restaurants.

- A gracious wife pays a forgotten bill quietly, without chastising her husband.

- A hopeful wife can laugh at a toddler covered in spaghetti, and know that this stage won't last forever.

We have to admit that it's easier to learn how to do the good deeds than how to have good character. How can we develop these traits?

- Spend time with our God who has perfect character. Read the Word! Pray and ask for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self- control. Record ways in which He has been faithful to give you these traits.

-Spend time with women who have good character. Proverbs is full of encouragements to surround yourself with people you want to be like and to avoid those who will bring you down. Find women (older, younger, same stage) who have noble character and read and pray together.

I hope you are encouraged that the first step towards being a good homemaker is having noble character. The LORD is always looking at our heart first. There may be days when the house is a mess, but we have had sweet communion with Him. There will be other days when we've cooked a dinner for 12 and snapped at our children just as many times. And still others when our kindness and patience have been well demonstrated through our actions. He knows our hearts and He is working towards making them more like His.

Today, I encourage you to take a look at your character and determine to cultivate it to be more noble. Hey, who doesn't want to be worth far more than rubies??

Teach Your Girls

Before we begin walking through Proverbs 31, it's important to look at why the book of Proverbs was written. Verses 1:1-1:7 tell us:

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

² for attaining wisdom and discipline;
for understanding words of insight;
³ for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,
doing what is right and just and fair;
⁴ for giving prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young—
⁵ let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance—
⁶ for understanding proverbs and parables,
the sayings and riddles of the wise.

⁷ The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools^[a] despise wisdom and discipline.

And verse 1:8 tells us who, specifically, all this wisdom and knowledge was for:

⁸ Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

All of Proverbs, including our passage in chapter 31, was written from Solomon to his son, so that we would know the proper way to live. Solomon knew that it was important for his son to choose a wife of noble character, so he took special care to tell him what such a wife would look like. So that when he found her, he would know : )

Now, my question for you is: Have you taught your son what a noble wife looks like? Have you taught your daughter to be a noble wife?

Oftentimes, we push off things like this, because our children are "too young" to worry about such things. But, the truth is, it won't be long before they are old enough and on their own. We need to take care to teach our children how to be noble, kind, and humble spouses NOW.

If you have a daughter, or a niece or a cousin or a little girl neighbor, take care to teach her how to work well at home. If she's a teenager, perhaps invite her to walk through Proverbs 31 with us. Her husband will be very glad you did.

What's Up with Homemaking?

What does it mean to be a homemaker?

I think, due to my upbringing (my stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home mother-in-law, stay-at-home grandmas...) I have no problem encouraging women to joyfully embrace doing work at home. Other ladies, however, who have had to work, became concerned and a little bit defensive with that idea.

This gets me thinking. And when that happens, I can't stop thinking. What does it mean to be a homemaker anyway? Does it specifically mean you can't work, ever? Shouldn't Christian women enjoy working at home? Is that an anti-feminist statement? Do I care if that's an anti-feminist statement?

And then I got to the BIG question. What does God think about homemaking? What does He want me to do?

There have been several times in the past when I have searched God's Word vigorously for the answer to that question. What does God want me to do? Funny thing is, God's Word isn't as specific as we'd like it to be. It doesn't have the name of what college you are supposed to attend, what guy you are supposed to marry, how many kids you should have, or whether you should home school.

His Word is super specific about our hearts, though- that we should be humble before Him and others, that we should love Him with all our hearts, souls, minds and strength, that we should love others and put them before ourselves. Other than that, there is SO MUCH freedom in Christ!

The Word does give us some guidelines about wives and mothers working at home. And those guidelines are found in Proverbs 31:10-31.

Over the next several days (weeks, months??) we are going to go through this passage, verse-by-verse, looking at what a Homemaker's Heart looks like. I'll also throw some practical tips and links in there as well.

I hope you'll join me. I will do my best to make it more fun than running the vacuum cleaner : )

Facebook Accountability

While our family was in Greer, TBC's high school youth students were at summer camp. I don't know all the amazing things that God did there, but I do know that our students came back with a hunger and thirst for God's word. Praise Him!!

One of the female students set up a Facebook group so that the girls can hold each other accountable. They have decided to begin by reading through the book of James together. Then they post insights and questions that they have.

It is such a neat idea and so simple. I am loving hearing how God is speaking to them through His word.

Now my question for you: Do you have a few friends who would be willing to read through the Bible with you on Facebook? I don't think this cyber interaction will ever replace face-to-face; heart-to-heart conversations about the word, but it is a good way to stay daily accountable for your quiet time.

I encourage you to ask a couple friends if they'd like to read and discuss with you. : )

James 1:1-5

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

James 1

¹ James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,

To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:

Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴ Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

A Lesson From Greer

I haven't blogged in quite a while- mainly because our family was vacationing in Greer last week.

What a lovely place! It's a little town in a little valley in north eastern Arizona. Everything there is quaint and simple. It was a delightful vacation.

Greer was also very close to the Wallow Fire. In fact, we saw some of the burnt forest. On the mountains surrounding the little town, the top 1/4 or so was completely burned. This made my heart very sad. While the LORD values us much more than sparrows and much more than pine trees, they are still part of His creation- and it is sad to see such things pass away.

So the top 1/4 was burned to a crisp, the next 1/4 slightly toasted- with trees that were yellowy- but the bottom half was untouched- green and lovely as ever.

How does that happen? As I stared at it, I wondered how a mighty gust of wind didn't come along and spread the fire down the mountain and into the town. I don't know much about forest fires, but it seemed as if just a little more time and a little more wind and our vacation spot would have been gone.

This made my heart exceedingly thankful. A little bit selfishly as I didn't want to cancel our vacation. But exceedingly thankful for God's grace in general. It was as if I could see His hand holding the fire back. As if I could hear his voice saying "You can burn this tree, but not that one."

Amidst disaster, it is important to remember God's sovereign hand in everything. He is ultimately in control- even when our world seems out of control.

I'm sure God seems very real to the people who live in Greer- who feared there homes would be destroyed. I'm sure His kindness and grace is very real to them now. I know looking at that mountain, it is very real to me.

Isaiah 55:12

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹² You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

Wants to see pictures of our trip? Click here. : )

Take Up Your Kids

I just read such an encouraging article about sacrificing for your kiddos. It's brilliant and beautiful. You should read it here.

As I ponder what it means to joyfully sacrifice myself for Caleb, I am reminded of what Jesus said here:

Matthew 16:24

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

²⁴ Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Being a mom certainly means "denying yourself" doesn't it? Lately, things have been pretty good around here, but there are certainly days when I miss having my own schedule that didn't revolve around feedings and naps (except my own, of course). Somedays I really miss sleeping in on Saturdays or when Ross and I would go on dates that would last 5+ hours. Somedays I miss the adult conversation that would take place in the workplace, the pats on the back I'd receive from the school principal, the paycheck was nice, too.

But I traded that in for something better. Caleb is precious and beautiful and wonderful and an awful lot of work. Sometimes he drives me crazy. Sometimes I feel like I've given him all I got and he still needs more. Sometimes (often late at night after a hard, hard day) I wonder if it's worth it.

But this Scripture and this article remind me that sacrificing for Caleb is so worth it. It's a picture of the gospel. Of what Christ did for us. Sacrificing for Caleb brings God glory and though the days are rough here, I will be rewarded for that work in heaven.

So, in a very tangible way, Caleb is my cross. And each day, I place him on my hip and move forward- relying on God's grace to see me through. Each day I take up my cross. And, if I do say so myself, he's the cutest cross you ever did see : )

Ten Month Transformation

Ross was playing around with our camera this morning, looking at pictures and watching videos of Caleb. My, how he has changed! We have one video where we are coaxing him to smile. It takes at least 20 seconds to get him to grin. Have you seen him lately? When is he not smiling?

In another video, he's discovered his hand and how delicious it tastes. He has it in his mouth, happily chewing on it. Somehow, it slips away from him, and it takes several attempts to get it back into his mouth. I took a video of him just last week where he is shoveling pieces of toast into his mouth, one after another.

Where did my tiny, itty-bitty baby go?

In just 10 months, he has changed from a 6 pound little ball that couldn't do much of anything, into a 20 pound chunk that scoots, crawls, climbs and sings. How did that happen?

It certainly wasn't anything I did. Okay, I fed him and changed his pants and sang him songs and talked to him and didn't throw him out the window at 3am when I couldn't take it anymore. But, really, I didn't do much to transform him into the little boy he is becoming. I didn't do it. Ross didn't do it.

God did.

And as I've been pondering this truth- that God has been miraculously transforming our itty bitty baby into a delightful little boy- I am struck by how miraculous it is. And how similar it is to the growth that happens in our hearts.

While Caleb's body had been changing and his abilities have been growing, my heart's been changing, too. Slowly, day-by-day, I've become more dependent on Him. A little less prideful, a little more humble. A little less know-it-all, a little more open to advice.

And don't forget Ross. His heart's been changing, too. A little less quick to kid, a lot more gracious. He's been growing in sweetness and sensitivity.

Both of us so much more aware of God's grace in our lives- in giving us such a precious gift.

Remember a couple minutes ago when I said that I didn't throw Caleb out the window? That part is important : ) While God has been faithful to transform Caleb's body and our hearts- we have had to be faithful, too. Faithful to care for Caleb's everyday ( sometimes gross and exhausting) needs. Faithful to read His word and let Him change our hearts.

He is perfectly powerful, we are weakly faithful and growth happens. Hallelujah!

What is He at work transforming in your life today?

"Caleb- No!"

Caleb is becoming more and more mobile day by day. This is starting to make his life way more exciting and my life.... well, way more tiring.

He really likes going for the things he can't have. You know, the nightlights, the electrical cords, the fans. He also loves to try diving off the couch. One of Ross' coworkers called this stage- The Suicide Watch. It feels like that often.

I knew this was coming and I know that from now on (until eternity??) it will be my job to help set boundaries for Caleb. Gently, but firmly telling him that No- he can't do that. I know that he doesn't understand much of that now. But he will, very soon. And a lot of our relationship will revolve around mommy teaching Caleb was is appropriate, acceptable, glorifying and what isn't. Now, he's endangering his life with electricity (which is pretty scary). It won't be long before we are setting boundaries around what we do for fun, who we hang out with, who we marry. I have to start now.

One of my prayers, since the beginning of mommyhood, is that I don't grow too weary to discipline my son. I've seen so many moms, who I know are good mothers, who really care for their children, who sit on the couch and tell their child no a hundred times, too tired to get up, look them in the eyes, tell them they mean it and help their child to move on. Lord, please let me never tire of directing Caleb. Please give me the energy to get up and move him when I need to.

I was encouraged yesterday as I read Proverbs of these verses that speak directly to disciplining your children. Here they are :

Proverbs 29:15-17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁵ A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom,
but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.

¹⁶ When the wicked thrive, so does sin,
but the righteous will see their downfall.

¹⁷ Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.

While now it seems like discipline is such a taxing chore, these verses highlight the good fruit that it brings.

My prayer for you is that you may never tire of disciplining your children- in leading them in the LORD's way- so that your children will not disgrace you, but rather may bring you peace and the delights that you desire.

That sounds sooooo good to me! : )

Lost Butter

Tonight is a youth swim party. I wanted to make chocolate chip cookie bars to take as a sweet treat. Caleb and I ran to the grocery store this morning for just a few things- but I knew I didn't need anything for the cookie bars. I already had it all.

When he and I got back home, I decided it would be a good idea to let the butter soften on the counter for a little while. I open the fridge and start scrounging around. And it is no where to be found. And I am very confused. I know I have butter. Real butter. At least 2 sticks of it. Somewhere. In the fridge. I look and look and Caleb starts crying about something. So I stop looking. Then I get distracted and sooner or later it's time to lay him down for a nap. I get him settled and then come back to the refrigerator. I take a deep breath. Tell myself not to get frustrated. I will find it. I open the door and wha-la- it's right in front of my face.

Has that ever happened to you? You start looking for something and you totally miss it? If Ross had been home, I would have asked him to help me and he would have thought I was crazy, or blind, or maybe, just human.

We can't see things right in front of our faces a lot of times, huh? Perhaps they are real things, like butter- because we have a preconceived idea of where it should be. Other times it's emotions. Someone right in front of us is hurting and we totally miss it, because we are so absorbed with our own hurts and pains. Other times it's our own sin- blatant, right in front of my face, but I can't see it. Maybe I really am blind to it- because of my pride. Or maybe I have a faulty understanding of truth and I don't know it's sin.

Regardless, we need to pray that God opens our eyes to things around us and inside us. We also need to ask friends to help us see things right in front of our own faces.

John 9:35-41

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

Spiritual Blindness

³⁵ Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”

³⁶ “Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”

³⁷ Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”

³⁸ Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.

³⁹ Jesus said, “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

⁴⁰ Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?”

⁴¹ Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

Do You Love (or Hate) Correction?

As I've been reading through Proverbs, I've been struck by a recurring theme: the importance of received discipline, instruction, and correction.

Check it out:

Proverbs 10:17

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁷ He who heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

Proverbs 12:1

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹ Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.

Proverbs 15:10

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁰ Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path;
he who hates correction will die.

This is serious stuff, here! It makes me re-think all those times I dreaded evaluations during my teaching career and times when a caring youth leader "needed to talk to me about something."

I'm sure most of us wouldn't say that we hate correction- but do we love it? Do we desire to know the truth about ourselves- so that we can align it with God's truth? Surely we don't want the consequences shared here: leading others astray, being deemed stupid, or even death!

So I've been pondering 2 things. First, how can I better receive correction? I know why it's hard to receive now. PRIDE! Even though I know that I'm not perfect- and you all know that I am not perfect- do we really have to talk about? Really? Can't we just pretend? The Scriptures say "No- no pretending, no hiding. Let's get it out in the open." So I've been praying that I would have a humble heart to receive correction. That I would remember that I am but dust and not easily take offense. We all need help- we are all blind to our own weaknesses. We should be thankful to those who graciously enlighten us.

That leads to my 2nd pondering. How can I more gracefully give correction? Have you ever been in public and witnessed a weary mother screaming at her children? It hurts my heart so bad. Yet how many times have I offered correction without compassion? I know it is hard for me to lay down my pride and receive criticism- I need to remember that when it is my turn to guide someone else. They are but dust, too.

I'm a little nervous to post this on the Internet. Is this an open invitation for you all to correct me? I'll make you a deal. I'll do my best to be humble-- if you do your best to be compassionate. : )

My Husband's Crown

My journey through the Bible has led me to Proverbs- a very, very good book. Some of the wisdom passages are simple couplets, others full-on paragraphs. All of it is extremely practical and thought-provoking.

Yesterday, I read this verse:

Proverbs 12:4

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

⁴ A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

And it really got me thinking...

Oftentimes, I try to bless my husband Ross by DOING something. I know. I'll cook him his favorite meal. I'll write him a sweet note. I'll scrub the kitchen floor. I'll thank him for going to work to provide for our family. I'll join him in an act of service. I'll praise him in front of others. I'll... I'll...I'll...

ALL of these things are great! They need to be done. They do encourage my husband. But did you notice that Proverbs 12:4 doesn't say that the wife who is busy doing things is her husband's crown. It doesn't say the wife that has her list of to-do's in order is her husband's crown. No, it's the wife of noble character.

Perhaps, it would be best for me to stop DOING things for Ross, and rather start BEING things for Ross. Being faithful. Being kind. Being thoughtful and considerate. Being trustworthy. Being slow to anger. Being forgiving. Being hopeful.

And the cool part is, if we choose to be more concerned with our character (hearts that are loving towards God and others)- we are going to bear sweet fruit (saying and doing kind things) and our husbands will be proud to call us their wives.

In fact, we will be a precious crown that they will proudly display on their heads : )

A+B=God's Glory

This past week has definitely been a Whatever We Do kind of week. Do you remember where that phrase comes from?

Colossians 3:17

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Our purpose in life, no matter what it is that we are doing, is to bring God glory. Sometimes that seems really simple, like when you are reading the Bible, or praying or thanking God for something. It seems easy when you are actively serving another person.

But what does it look like to be sick in the name of Jesus? Thursday evening, I threw up 4 times. It was that awful kind of sick where I'd just want to die, throw up, feel better for 2 minutes then want to die again. How do you bring God glory while vomitting?

Our little family went on a mini-vacation this past weekend up to Prescott. It was super fun and relaxing, except that Caleb forgot how to fall asleep. Each nap and each bedtime was a trial. He'd stand in his pack 'n' play and holler. How do you bring God glory when all you really want is your precious little one to give in and fall asleep?

I am so grateful that God examines our hearts. He knows our situations better than we do. I know he is pleased when our desires are to simply please Him. But part of me wants a formula. An A+B= God's glory kind of formula.

But he's much too complex for that...