Growing up, I always attended bridal and baby showers with my family. They thought it was important that I learn how to behave myself at such lady-like functions. I always enjoyed myself (what fun to think of getting married and having babies some day!) and always asked plenty of questions (why did somebody give Aunt Kim pajamas that looked like a silky bikini?)
Through all these experiences, I learned that there are some "rules" about showers. Here are just a few:
1) Showers are about presents. That's the point. If you aren't going to bring a present, don't come.
2) You only invite people to showers if they are invited to the wedding. To get a shower invite without a wedding invite is rude.
3) You only get one baby shower. Doesn't matter how many babies you have. Maybe, just maybe you'll have a second one if your second baby is a different kind than your first baby. Maybe.
4) If the host has lots of money, she'll feed you lunch and cake. Just a little money? Just cake. But there will always, always be cake.
5) It can not be a quick affair. Plan on at least 2 hours. If you stay at least 2 hours, you've been polite and you can leave- but don't be surprised if it eats up an entire afteroon.
I helped host a bridal shower last night for a sweet young girl at church. We broke several of the rules just mentioned. (We invited EVERY woman in the congregation!) And we had a fabulous time. So here's an updated list : )
1) Showers are about blessings. You can bless with physical gifts, for sure. But blessings of prayer, support and encouragement are far more important. While they are not "free" they don't cost a penny. (A note about physical gifts- group gifts are "IN!" So give $5 to the host, if that's all you can afford to go towards that vacuum cleaner or double stroller. Don't not come just because you can't spend $50.)
2) People can't afford to invite everyone they know to their wedding. Your husband doesn't want to go to everybody's wedding anyway : ) This rule is silly. Be generous and loving at every opportunity.
3) If it's all about blessings and not all about presents- then why not have a baby shower for every baby? (Hopefully you have a wedding shower for every wedding- and that should be only one :) ) It's good to be prayed over for every child. Besides, kids are messy and hard on things. Every mom could use a few new outfits and a new changing pad, too.
4) Rule number 3 means there will be more showers given and rule number 2 means there will be more invited. So don't judge the host. She's just trying to love on a sweet friend. Ask if you can bring an appetizer to share. And enjoy your piece of cake : )
5) People are busy. They have families and homes to care for. So bless. Bless well. Bless quickly. A game if you must, some time for encouragement and prayer, gifts, then a time of fellowship at the end for women who can stay- a time to escape for women who must go. No need to take up a whole afternoon or.... what about giving a shower in the evening??
I've told you the rules have changed- surely, for the better : )
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