How Many Kids?

The following has been on my mind a LOT lately. It's not politically correct. It's not a clear right or wrong/black or white answer. But I think the LORD has it on my heart for a reason...

"How many kids would you like to have?" It's such a common question- but most especially in this stage of life- with a little guy running around and a little girl on the way. My answer has been the same since Ross and I married. "Well, Ross wants 3, but I think I want 4." And people give the same sort of response "Oh, that's a lot of children, but you'd be a good mom. You could probably handle it."

I don't know how many times I've had a conversation like that. The amazing part is the emphasis on me in that equation. How many kids would YOU like to have? YOU could probably handle it.

Lately, I've been struck with the question- "How many kids would GOD like us to have?" He hasn't responded to me with a clear number. I don't think He ever will.

Think theologically with me for a moment. Set practicalities aside and just think about God.

1st- God is the one who gives life. I've seen this in my own life as we have "tried" to make babies. It's not my timing. It's His. It doesn't matter how hard Ross and I work at it- God's the one who decides whether or not to breathe life into the little ones.

2nd- God says that children are blessings. Throughout Scripture, God gives children to people in order to bless them. Proverbs 127:3 says that children are a heritage and a REWARD.

3rd- God is ultimately in control. He has a plan that I can not squelch- with my sin or my selfishness or with all of my grand plans. His will will be done.

So when I think this way I begin to wonder why I use birth control methods at all. Why would I want to prevent rewards and blessings? Why would I say no to life God wants to give me?

Then I start thinking practically-

1st- Kids cost money. A lot of money! How would we provide for lots of children?

2nd- Kids take time. Lots of time! How would I care for many, many children?

3rd- How many kids would I end up with anyway? 5, a dozen, 2 dozen???

4th- Big families complicate everything- what kind of vehicle would we have to own, could we ever go on vacation again, who's going to want to buy my kids Christmas presents, how do we put a bunch of kids through college, what would our house have to look like, etc. etc. etc.

5th- What if God blessed us with 6 kids right away (big #, but not unreasonable) then, when I'm 45- He gives us another one! Then what??

But then I start applying what I know about God to those practical issues:

Yes, kids cost money and time- but God says He will provide for all of our needs and that we ought not to worry about clothes, food, etc.

Scripture is full of big families. Some happy, some not- but the size doesn't seem to affect their happiness. Their devotion to God and His ways, does though.

Scripture is also full of old ladies having babies. Really old ladies, not 45-year-olds. While age is a very important factor in motherhood according to our culture, it seems trivial to God.

So what does this all mean to me?

I don't know. It's easy to talk about trusting the LORD and forsaking birth control when you're 5 months pregnant and know just 1 is on the way. It may be a totally different matter, however, months after our little girl is born.

Ross thinks I'm a little crazy. I totally get that. Culture- even our Christian culture!!- has programmed us to think that 2 kids are necessary and every one after that is a step closer and closer to insanity. I obviously need to respect and honor my husband and his wishes, but we also both need to be on the same page as God.

And I don't think God thinks big families are weird at all. In fact, He's probably thankful that at least some people are willing to accept His rewards. : )