Parenthood has the potential to bring great joy and intimacy into Christian marriages. That's part of God's amazing plan. There's something wonderful about seeing the fruit of your two bodies live and grow. Ross has been humbled and encouraged by the way I have let my body come undone for our babies. I have been challenged and strengthened by the way he so preciously and graciously meets the needs of all 3 of us.
Ross was able to take all last week off to be with us. This was a precious time. Ross and I are dear friends, so even though we didn't go anywhere and slept little- it felt like a vacation- like a getaway with your best friend. It was a sweet time.
He went back to work yesterday and I knew that transition was going to be difficult. It was hard when Caleb was born, too. I didn't know HOW it was going to be difficult though...
All of those good things that happened last week, all that tenderness and intimacy- all of that brings glory to God and joy to His heart. He WANTS married couples to be happy together. That's part of the plan. He challenges us to grow through marriage as well, but it's His desire that we be one and that we enjoy that union. God desires those things.
The Enemy despises them.
He's been nagging at my heart lately, but he went full force yesterday. Throughout all last week, he would whisper things in my ear, trying to make me lose my patience with Ross. Trying to make me angry at the man who so willingly sacrifices himself for me. I had been fighting against those emotions pretty well. Until yesterday.
Last night, when Ross was home with us, as we were all eating dinner as a sweet little family, Satan reminded me of ways that Ross had hurt me in the past. Things that had been confessed and forgiven. Things that didn't matter anymore. Things we had agreed to leave behind. The Enemy kept reminding me of them- trying to cause strife and division among us.
I couldn't help it and started crying- for basically, the rest of the evening. Partly because those memories hurt. Mostly because I felt attacked. A lot of it was simply anger. "Leave me ALONE!" I kept quietly screaming in my head.
Poor Ross. The man does nothing but graciously pour himself out for his family, and yet his wife is in emotional distress.
I told you. Satan is downright mean, an insensitive jerk and a gross liar.
This isn't the first time the Enemy has tried to break apart the intimacy in our hearts. It won't be the last. I've found that prayer- out loud, for Ross to hear, has been the best remedy.
So last night, through tears, I prayed that God would guard my heart against Satan's attacks. That while the Enemy whispered lies, that Christ would scream truth. That I would listen to Jesus. That I would cling to my husband and fight for our marriage, and not give in to fear and discouragement. That I would be oh-so-confident in his love for me.
And I was able to sleep.
My heart is still tender though. Please pray for Ross and me when we come to mind. Pray for joy and intimacy and love. Pray for oneness. Pray for growth through these struggles. Pray for happiness and blessing.
I'll be praying for you and your marriages, too. Perhaps now is a good time for you to reflect on ways in which Satan is trying to divide your hearts. Are you quickly losing patience for your spouse? Are you being reminded of ways he has hurt you? Is it easier for you to see the negative, instead of the positive? Do you spend more time complaining than you do confessing and praying for change?
LORD, marriage is a gift from you. Give us what we need to fight to protect it. Thank you for being with us every step of the way. May you be glorified in our marriages today and every day that follows. Amen!
I dont know if this would help you or not, but it helped me once so hopefully it will. After Micah was born i was very very emotional. I had to go back to work after two months and "back to work" meant i had to fly to virginia for two weeks away from my brand new baby and husband and maggie. The whole time i was convinced Luis was having an affair (because when youre alone with a new born and a toddler you have SOOOO much time to sleep around!)and i was sure it was the devil trying to ruin me. a christian man at my training class reminded me, Satan is not the evil foil to God. God is everywhere, Satan is one being. He cannot menace everyone at once. And given the relative unimportance of myself its more likely just an average minion of Satan. I took a lot of comfort in that because i thought "oh yaaa..." this thing is weak, weaker even than satan. Hes like that skinny big mouthed bully who hangs out with a bigger kid. He couldnt really hurt you if he wanted, hes all talk. Christ wouldnt even have to look up to defeat him. Regard that demon with the amount of fear he deserves: none. =)
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