Whose Plan?

The house is pretty clean. Caleb is still napping.  Genevieve is happily playing on the floor. And I want to share a few more thoughts about how God is using our upcoming baby to change my way of thinking...

I like to plan.

I like to know what's going to happen next.  I like lists and dreams.  I like calendars and schedules.  I almost always know exactly what time it is.  I'm very aware of times and plans and schedules.

There is nothing wrong with any of these things.

God has plans.  He gave us time.  He has a schedule and an agenda.  He is very purposeful.  He has divine appointments with people.

The trouble starts to happen when I value my plan- my agenda, my dreams- over His.

Our 3rd pregnancy is bringing the truth of that into plain sight.

Before we got pregnant, we knew the choices we were making were not 99% accurate that we could not get pregnant.  And I liked that.  When close friends asked me about having more children, I told them that I wanted to give God more room to work than that.  I wanted my heart to be open to His timing.

And He worked.  He gave us a baby.  And I almost feel like this is a test.
"Ok, Dru-Lynn.  You said you were going to trust me if this happened.  Are you, really?"

This was not my plan.  But it was His.  And even though I don't completely understand how everything is going to work, I know He's here.  I know He's going to help.

One of the crazy things, to me, is how obsessed our current American culture is with family planning.  Think about it.  When was the last time you were asked- or you asked someone else- one of these questions:

How many kids are you going to have?
How long are you and your husband going to wait before you have kids?
When do you want your baby to come?  Avoid the summer at all costs!
You're done having kids, right?

It's like everyone assumes that everyone else is taking pills religiously or using an IUD until they think it's the "right" time to have a baby.  And then, you stop using whatever it was, and you magically become pregnant, exactly when you wanted to.*  And you do that each time you want a baby.  And when you think you've had enough, your husband has a vasectomy.  And every child fits perfectly into your little plan.

I don't like that.  I may be a critical part of the life-giving process, but I'm not ultimately the life-giver.  It can be very scary trusting Him with all of this, but I know that He is far wiser than me!

Isaiah 55:8
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways," declares the LORD."

*(It works the other way, too, you know...  You may plan a baby and God says, not now or not ever.  I have friends that have been trying for 3 years to have a baby.  Or people that want 3 or 4 and can't have more than 1 or 2- for all kinds of reasons.  Then there are the girls that aren't married and yearn for children. All of that requires a great deal of trust, too.)

Our 17-Week Secret

Happy New Year, dear friends.
I had not realized that I hadn't blogged in over half a year!
No wonder so many of you thought I had fallen off the face of the earth...

I have something that I need to tell you all.
I've been thinking through how I wanted to tell you for several weeks now.
Did I want to be all sentimental or poetic...  Did I want to break it to you slow?

I've decided that blunt is best.

We are pregnant.
And not a "little bit" pregnant.
I find out next week if our baby is a boy or a girl.
We are due approx. June 10th.

This is exciting news. (Babies are blessings!)
This is scary news. (I already have 2 babies. And the oldest is 2!)
This is must-trust-God-in-all-things news.

To be completely honest with you, I was shocked, surprised, and scared when we found out.
I didn't want to tell anybody... and I wanted to tell everybody.
I wanted to scream and cry.  I couldn't believe it was all happening so fast.

I have so many beautiful friends that supported me along the way.

Carlene- who I told first and just let me pour out my heart.  Who said that God was big enough to handle all of my raw emotion.

Sharon- the lactation consultant who graciously listened to all my concerns and told me to keep nursing Genevieve without worry and who reminded me that a new sibling was a precious gift to my children

Natalie- who did this same thing (3 under 3) about 10 years ago and who encouraged me to give myself plenty of grace and plenty of space (for example: napping instead of blogging or being of FB)

Cari- who was SO excited when I told her the news- not shocked, not surprised- but elated.  Her response was such an encouragement to me!

And so many others- who have reminded me that God's plan is good- especially when it surprises us.

There have been a few others (I knew there would be- and I was afraid of them...) who made the usual comments: "You need to get cable"..."They have things to prevent that... pills, purple condoms" "You are crazy!!!"

I'm trying to keep myself focused.  The task ahead of me is huge.  Monumental.  Undoable on my own.  So thankful that God walks alongside me every step of the way.  There may be some times He's going to have to carry me...

One verse that I have always loved, but means so much more to me now is Ephesians 2:10. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

I am God's workmanship.  He created my body to create, carry, deliver and nurture babies.  Lots of little ones is my good work.  He prepared this work for me to do before time began.  And I will trust Him.