Whose Plan?

The house is pretty clean. Caleb is still napping.  Genevieve is happily playing on the floor. And I want to share a few more thoughts about how God is using our upcoming baby to change my way of thinking...

I like to plan.

I like to know what's going to happen next.  I like lists and dreams.  I like calendars and schedules.  I almost always know exactly what time it is.  I'm very aware of times and plans and schedules.

There is nothing wrong with any of these things.

God has plans.  He gave us time.  He has a schedule and an agenda.  He is very purposeful.  He has divine appointments with people.

The trouble starts to happen when I value my plan- my agenda, my dreams- over His.

Our 3rd pregnancy is bringing the truth of that into plain sight.

Before we got pregnant, we knew the choices we were making were not 99% accurate that we could not get pregnant.  And I liked that.  When close friends asked me about having more children, I told them that I wanted to give God more room to work than that.  I wanted my heart to be open to His timing.

And He worked.  He gave us a baby.  And I almost feel like this is a test.
"Ok, Dru-Lynn.  You said you were going to trust me if this happened.  Are you, really?"

This was not my plan.  But it was His.  And even though I don't completely understand how everything is going to work, I know He's here.  I know He's going to help.

One of the crazy things, to me, is how obsessed our current American culture is with family planning.  Think about it.  When was the last time you were asked- or you asked someone else- one of these questions:

How many kids are you going to have?
How long are you and your husband going to wait before you have kids?
When do you want your baby to come?  Avoid the summer at all costs!
You're done having kids, right?

It's like everyone assumes that everyone else is taking pills religiously or using an IUD until they think it's the "right" time to have a baby.  And then, you stop using whatever it was, and you magically become pregnant, exactly when you wanted to.*  And you do that each time you want a baby.  And when you think you've had enough, your husband has a vasectomy.  And every child fits perfectly into your little plan.

I don't like that.  I may be a critical part of the life-giving process, but I'm not ultimately the life-giver.  It can be very scary trusting Him with all of this, but I know that He is far wiser than me!

Isaiah 55:8
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways," declares the LORD."

*(It works the other way, too, you know...  You may plan a baby and God says, not now or not ever.  I have friends that have been trying for 3 years to have a baby.  Or people that want 3 or 4 and can't have more than 1 or 2- for all kinds of reasons.  Then there are the girls that aren't married and yearn for children. All of that requires a great deal of trust, too.)