Perfect Timing

I had been worrying about when Genevieve would come. Ross works in Chandler- about 45 minutes from our home. That's on average. No traffic- 30 minutes. An accident or 2- easily over an hour.

What if she decided to come in the middle of a work day? What if Ross had to hurry home? What would that drive be like for him- stressing about getting to me in time?

Looking at how everything turned out now... thank God she came on a Sunday evening! Can you imagine if I was having contractions 10 minutes apart at 10am on a workday? Ross may have come home to me birthing the baby myself in the bathroom!!

If that had happened, God would have been here with me, of course! But I am consider myself blessed that I was able to labor with Ross by my side the entire time, even if I didn't realize that that was what I was doing : )

The Best Birth Attendant

Several people have been asking me lately what I would have done differently on Genevieve's birthday, if I could have changed anything. The only thing I can think of is the fact that we did not have someone medically trained here during the delivery. There would have been so much less stress on Ross if a midwife or a paramedic had physically been here to help. In fact, I'm kind of leaning towards having a PLANNED home birth next time : )

While this time, we did not have a physical birth attendant present- I can assure you that God was here with us the ENTIRE time. His fingerprints are all over this story and all over this little girl's life already. He is so good and I am so thankful for a special experience like a birth for us to see that.

My original intention was to sit here and list things that happened that were "God-things". Instead, I think I'll take it slower and just "mini-blog" for a while. As I think of them, I'll post specific ways that God revealed His presence and glory to us.

I hope these moments encourage your heart and your faith in our God who is so good and who is the original author of all these crazy, beautiful stories!

Genevieve Carigrace's Birth Story Part Two

Thanks for your patience : ) Both babies are asleep again. I know...I know... but if I laid down now I'd just be thinking of all the details I want to include in this story, so I'm going to finish now and sleep in peace tonight.

So Ross calls Lisa and fills her in on what's been going- to the best of his abilities- from his perspective- which was helpful, but she wanted to talk to me, to hear my voice and how I thought things were going. I chatted with her for a couple minutes- told her about the progression of my contractions and everything. I had one contraction while I was on the phone with her and she talked me through it while Ross helped me to relax. Then, she asked me what I wanted to do. I told her I was comfortable where I was and didn't feel like going to the hospital yet. She said, "Well. We don't you to be pushing in the parking lot. But if you feel okay at home, it will probably be okay to stay there a little while longer. Go ahead and call me when you are headed to the hospital, okay?" I said okay and hung up.

(At some point in here, my mom arrived. She was trying to distract herself and was sitting on our couch talking to Ross' mom on the phone...)

If you've read Caleb's birth story, then you know that Ross and I had a sweet opportunity before my induction to sit and pray together for the birth ahead. It is one of my favorite memories of all time and I had already decided I wanted us to pray before we had Genevieve. So after we hung up with Lisa, I asked Ross to sit on the bed and pray with me. We thanked God for our baby, for his protection and provision, for his presence with us there in our room, in the car, in the hospital. We thanked him for Lisa and for the nurses that were going to help us. We prayed for wisdom and endurance and strength.

And then I had another contraction. A strong contraction. A very, very painful contraction. Up until that point, I had been able to relax through them all. They hurt, sometimes badly, but I was able to breathe deeply and "let go". Not with this one. I couldn't lie still. I told Ross it hurt too much. I couldn't do this anymore. And then, I had an extreme moment of clarity. With complete seriousness, I asked him "Am I in transition already?" (If you don't know, transition is the part of labor where your body goes from 7 or 8 cm to fully dialated. It happens quickly (a few minutes to a few hours) and it is the hardest part of labor, both physically and emotionally).

Ross just shook his head like he didn't know what was going on. And then another contraction came. If the last one was bad, this one was horrific. I could not lie still. I was flailing my arms everywhere, rolling on the bed. Ross held my arms down to the bed, looked me in the eyes and said, "Relax. Relax. Relax!" Then he calmed down and started speaking softly about walking through the forest in Sedona together. I was able to calm down slightly.

When that contraction was over, another moment of clarity came. "We have to go to the hospital now," I said. I went to stand up and had a huge urge to go to the bathroom. "First, I'll go to the bathroom and then we'll go to the hospital." "Okay," Ross said. Another contraction came and I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. "Wait," said Ross. "My water is going to break and I need to go!" I yelled at him.

I walked into our (teeny, tiny) master bathroom and sat on the toilet. Another moment of clarity. I don't need to have a bowel movement. I need to push out this baby. Oh...my...gosh... Ross came into the bathroom with the phone and told me he was going to call Lisa. Another moment of clarity. "No. You are going to call 911." "Okay."

I stood up from the toilet and grabbed onto a towel rack. Meanwhile, Ross is giving the dispatcher our address and telling him that I am in the process of having this baby in our bathroom. I put my hand between my legs and feel something like a massive water balloon. The dispatcher tells Ross to have me lie down on my back. That sounds like the worse idea ever to me. (That is the most uncomfortable position to labor in). I tell him I am not doing that (even though I should have at least squatted down because...)

Another contraction comes and I feel lots of burning and I scream as my bag of waters makes an audible POP and water rushes out of me along with Genevieve as I'm standing up holding on to the towel bar. She slides through my one free hand, through Ross' one free hand and into the toilet. Then baby girl starts screaming and I am in complete shock. And poor, poor Ross is mortified at the sight of his baby girl in the toilet, and his other baby girl standing in pools of her own blood. He fished Genevieve out of the toilet and gave my mom the phone. I was then directed to lie down. I obliged this time :) by lying in our shower. Mom brings us lots of towels to cover myself and Genevieve. She is crying loudly. This makes the dispatcher happy. Then we hear more crying. Poor Caleb is awake. I direct Mom towards him. Ross is sitting on the floor of the bathroom, holding on to Genevieve and me.

Then, a paramedic walks in the door, sits down on the toilet seat and starts talking to me in the shower. (I told you our bathroom was small...) He must have been the kindest paramedic ever, and he must have done this before. He was very gentle and very kind. He took my vitals and Genevieve's. He clamped and cut the cord. He kept saying how good we both looked. Then he asked me to stand up and I thought he was crazy!

Did he know what I had just done? He asked if I felt lightheaded. Could he see the blood all over the floor? After a couple minutes, I was able to get up and walk to the gurney they had for me in our bedroom. I never had put on any clothing or my glasses since my shower, so imagine my surprise when I leave our bathroom to find 8 fuzzy figures of firemen in my bedroom. Thank God I couldn't see clearly. I might have died of humiliation.

I was able to climb up on the gurney myself (how, I do not know...) and was wheeled down our hallway- past Mom holding sleepy, very confused, very intrigued Caleb and into our dining room where our sweet neighbors from across the street are standing saying, "Dru-Lynn! This was not the plan!" I sheepishly smile as they hand me Genevieve and then wheel me out the front door into the very chilly night air. (At this point, I am covered by all kinds of randomness- bath towels, firemen towels, bloody stuff, I don't know what...) And then up and in I went into the back of the ambulance.

They start taking my vitals again and asking me all kinds of questions- like my name and where I work. I tell them I don't. Then I self-correct. "Well, I do. But I don't get paid." "You're a homemaker," the kind paramedic says, "That's a wonderful thing. And there aren't enough of them." That made me smile. Then there's a knock on the back door. They open it and there is my wonderful husband, asking if he can come, too. Then tell him he can ride up front.

Then we make the crazy trip to the hospital. I don't recommend riding in a vehicle as bumpy as an ambulance after giving birth. Not only is it physically uncomfortable, but they have the bed highly elevated, my knees bent and my ankles apart. I think drivers could see everything through the back window as they drove down 19th Ave. I ask if I can put my legs down and they say no. The kind paramedic pulls a towel down to cover me.

We pull up to the hospital and are taken to the emergency room entrance. We are a sight to see! Ross is wearing a white T-shirt and denim shorts and he is COVERED in blood. I am covered in all kinds of bloody material. But there's a cute baby girl on my lap. Ross gives me my glasses and I can finally see what's going on. More questions, then goodbyes as I am wheeled around and up the elevator to the maternity ward.

They get me in a room and a midwife named Kate comes in and starts checking me out. She and nurses do what they can to sponge bath me off (I still had bloody feet when I went to leave the hospital...) Then they start checking my uterus for shrinkage and my perenium for tears. Those two events hurt more than birthing Genevieve! I immediately want to go home : ) They deliver the placenta and dispose of it. Then, sweet Kate, pulls the stool close to the bed and says, "Now. Tell me your story!" with a fun sense of excitement in her eyes. I give them a brief synopsis and they joke with Ross about how messy he is.

Then a bunch of un-fun hospital stuff happened. (Registration paperwork- AFTER you've already had the baby... Taking the baby away from me to weigh her and bathe her and warm her, etc.)

I won't go into any of those details here. That's the most exciting part of the story. Please check back again soon. I want to post some cool ways that God showed up in that whole process.

Now... I will join my sleeping children : )

Genevieve Carigrace's Birth Story Part One

First, I should probably start by explaining what we WANTED to happen on the day that Genevieve came:

• We wanted a natural birth. I was hoping to labor and deliver without any drugs at all and with as few as interruptions (IV, cervical checks, etc) as possible. Ross and I took Bradley Method classes before we had Caleb- and Caleb was delivered without pain meds, but with inducing drugs. So we are WELL TRAINED in birth and the process and I am not, by any means, a superwoman : )
• We wanted to labor as long as possible as home- because it is the easiest place to be comfortable and cozy and there are no chances of all of those drugs and interruptions at home.
• We wanted to deliver the baby at Phoenix Baptist Hospital with a certified-nurse midwife from Bethany Women's Center named Lisa. All of their midwives are excellent, but I had very good experiences with her- had shared a lot of my fears and concerns with her and felt she had the best idea of what we wanted and was willing to help me accomplish it.
• We did NOT want a home birth. As Ross says, "They're really messy!"
• We wanted me to be completely healthy. I had been fighting a sinus infection that turned into an ear infection. I had been pretty miserable for the week prior and I was fervently praying that Genevieve would not come until the infection had cleared. How was I supposed to deliver a baby without pain meds, if my head was constantly throbbing?

So here's what REALLY happened : )

Sunday morning, March 25th, we had decided that Ross and Caleb would go to church, but that I would stay home and rest. My infections were really running me down and it didn't seem like being around a lot of people and loudish :) music was a good idea. Ross is glad they went to church. He was blessed by the music and preaching of the Word that day, while Caleb was able to play and have some normalcy without interrupting my rest, and I was able to rest and have some sweet quiet time with the LORD on the beginning of a very, very important day.

All morning and into the afternoon, I was having contractions. Very, very sporadic ones. Sometimes they were once an hour, sometimes every half hour. They were lower than all the contractions I had been having in weeks prior, but it was easy to ignore them. If I was sitting down, I couldn't feel them at all. In fact, it seemed like they only came if I got up to go somewhere. They were stronger than all the others I had had, but so sporadic, must still be Braxton Hicks, right?

My brother and dad came over the day before to help Ross work on a home improvement project. They had worked all day and had a few finishing touches to put on it. So my brother Ben came over and worked with Ross to finish it. After Ben left, about 5 in the afternoon, I asked Ross if we could go on a walk. " If these are real contractions, a walk should help them get really started" I told him. Ross agreed and off the 3 of us went.

I had 2 contractions on that walk- both about 25 minutes apart from others I had been having. We'd be walking, they would start slowly, I'd keep walking, then have to stop to breathe through them. They were getting stronger, but not too strong. I still felt very much in control and able to handle them. And 25 minutes apart? Maybe she'd come on Monday.

When we got home (around 6pm), I really felt like this was the beginning of labor, but that the delivery itself was far off. But I got busy. What did I want done before we went to the hospital? I did dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. Our hospital bag wasn't packed (perhaps a mistake...) but I had made a list of everything I wanted to take with us, so I began gathering clothes, books, snacks, etc. Ross fed Caleb dinner at this time. I wasn't real hungry, so I had a cheese stick and some Ritz crackers.

I don't know what really happened the next couple hours. My contractions were getting closer together, but slowly. 15 minutes apart. 12. 16. Those two were 9 minutes apart. Wait, now we're back to 15. I'm busy doing some nesting. Ross is busy spending time with Caleb. Contractions are getting stronger, but still manageable. Yet, I'm getting a little jealous of the time Ross is spending with Caleb. The contractions don't hurt so much if he is stroking my hair or talking to me.

Yet, at the same time, I see his nesting instincts are sweeter than mine. I want the house ready, Ross wants Caleb ready. About 8:30pm, I decide to quit worrying about what the house looks like and start enjoying our son. They are playing together in Genevieve's purple bedroom. Our sweet neighbors have given us a play kitchen and washer/dryer for her. Caleb LOVES putting dishes in the sink and in the drawers and taking them back out again. I sit down next to my boys and tell Ross that he is choosing "the better thing" quoting Jesus in relation to Mary and Martha. I smile. You're not supposed to be able to smile in late labor, just in the beginning. Baby Girl is still a long way off...

At this time (9pm), contractions are pretty consistently 10 minutes apart. They hurt, though. Real deep and low. I can feel pain in my lower uterus, my cervix and into my legs. I felt excruciating pain in my legs when I labored with Caleb. This makes me wonder if this isn't real and progressing, but everything is still 10 minutes apart. Am I really wimpy? How come I can't handle contractions that are 10 minutes apart?

It's getting past Caleb's bedtime. so we decide to put him to bed. Ross goes through the routine with him, while I lay down on the spare bed in Caleb's room. In the 30 minutes that it takes to get him ready, my contractions go from 10 minutes apart to consistently 5 minutes apart. Still strong, but manageable.

Now it's 10pm. I start getting bossy. This is not an unusual part of my character, but one I try to suppress and an attitude that I do NOT allow to spring up around Ross, but this is serious business. "I'm going to call my mom and tell her to come over. You need to call your mom. Then I'm going to get in the shower. Hopefully some steam will help clear my sinues. You are going to finish packing for the hospital. Okay?" Ross just smiles, nods, and gets to work. I wait till a contraction is over and call my mom. She says she's rushing over. I tell her not to rush. Baby isn't coming too soon. Just take her time and come. She agrees to be to the house by 11pm.

I get in the shower and have a contraction. This one is quite strong. I thought water was supposed to help you relax even better. When I feel the next one coming on, I yell for Ross to come help me. He holds my hand while I stand with my belly in the water. That feels GOOD! We can do this. Turns out my contractions are now 3 minutes apart. Ross agrees to hold my hand through each contraction, then run around and pack for 2 minutes, then run back. We do this for a while (20 minutes, maybe??)

I turn off the shower and then can't decide what to do. I don't want to get dressed. I want to lie down. I lie down on our bed in a towel. I tell Ross I'm just going to rest. He needs to finish packing (Ross is kind of an extraordinarily slow packer, in case you were wondering...) I have a contraction, which hurts, but is manageable, and I tell him to grab my cell phone and call the midwife.

To be continued...

To the Hospital and Back

So I didn't really mean to fall off the face of the earth for a week... but it kinda feels like I did. Let me give you an update on my health : )

Last week was very busy, fruitful and productive. I felt good about all that I had accomplished, but by the time Friday evening rolled around, I was very, very tired! Saturday morning, I woke up and felt a little better and started working around the house again- then we went to my cousin's birthday party and I got exhausted again. I couldn't wait to get to bed Saturday night. Sunday was church and then a get-together for my father-in-law's birthday. My mother-in-law made a delicious meal, that I could only eat about 1/2 of. The delicious meal is typical of Geneva. My lack of eating it was not...

We laid Caleb down for a nap at Ross' parents and I laid down too. That evening, I still felt unwell- no appetite, some mild nausea and a very low grade fever. I debated if I should do anything about it, but seeing that it's not just me affected by my illness, but Baby Girl as well, I went ahead and called the midwife's office.

I left a message and got a call back 3 minutes later. (I've never had that speedy of a call back anywhere- let alone on a Sunday night!) The midwife on-call was very kind- told me to snack on something with protein, drink a lot of water, take some tylenol and make an appt 1st thing Monday morning. She told me that a stomach bug had been going around and that I needed to be "assessed" : ) I followed her directions exactly.

Monday morning comes and I still don't feel well. I call and make an appt to be seen at 8:50 am. I then call my mother-in-law, who agreed to help however necessary. (Note: my parents were in Disneyland at the time...) Ross waits for his mom to get there, loads us up in the car and then heads to work.

We (Geneva, Caleb and I) arrive at the midwife's office and I am seen by a midwife I have heard good things about but have never seen before. She doesn't seem to be too worried by my illness- tells me to follow the BRAT diet, drink water and feel better. She measures my growing tummy and listens to the baby's heart beat... and seems a bit concerned. Tells me that she knows her heartbeat changed while we were listening to it, but not if it had gone from her regular rate down or an accelerated rate back to regular.

They put me on an electronic fetal monitor for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, Caleb and Grandma GG sit patiently in the waiting room. The midwife reads the monitor strip and is now concerned because I had 1 contraction and afterwards, the reading dips down a bit. She writes a prescription for me to have an ultrasound and an hour long monitoring session done at the hospital and sends me on my way.

At this point, I'm still nauseated and exhausted, and now, fearful. Is there something really wrong with my baby?

My mother-in-law drives us home real quick because they want me to eat something before the long test. I call Ross on the way and try not to cry. He tells me all will be just fine and to "be strong, okay?"

By the time we get to the hospital, Geneva and I have decided that she will stay with me as I register and figure out where I'm going and how long it should take. Then she will take Caleb back home to run around and play. I don't really want to be left alone, but there are no other options. Caleb can't come with us into the triage area.

Registration goes fine. The lady keeps commenting on how adorable Caleb is. Geneva and Caleb leave and I have some sense of peace. God is here. I'm a big girl. We'll handle this. I have the ultrasound, and the very kind technician asks me why I'm having it. I tell him that my uterus is measuring small and my baby's heart rate seemed irregular. He tells me she is measuring exactly average and that everything looks perfect. He assesses her on 4 areas and gives her a 100%. Huge relief.

I go upstairs to labor and deliver triage to have the monitoring done. The nurse is kind and basically leaves me alone, lying on my side, with a belt around my waist. I try to rest as I listen to the sound of Baby Girl's very regular sounding heart rate.

Suddenly, Lisa, the midwife I've been seeing regularly for my last 4 appt appears and wants to know why I'm there. She knows why the other midwife sent me- she asked that to reassure me that there is no real good reason for me being there. I've been measuring small for the past several weeks- but she could feel that the baby herself was the right size. And as for the contraction and drop of heart rate, she figures that the baby shifted away from the monitor once the contraction finished.

She notes that my ultrasound was perfect- that the first part of this long monitoring looks great and that I really just need to go home, drink fluids and get sleep. I agree with her that I just want to go home. She says she has some other people to see and then she'll come back and "set me free" : )

Then things got really crazy. Not for me- but in the triage area. A lady showed up in mid-labor in tons of pain with a baby feet down. She wasn't agreeable at all- didn't want to register downstairs, didn't want her cervix measured, didn't want to share her medical history. Wanted the C-section as soon as possible, but didn't want an IV. The nurses were having a difficult time keeping her calm and I was having a difficult time not being able to console this poor woman.

It took Lisa a little longer than she had expected to "release" me, but it did happen. Geneva and Caleb came and picked me up and then I went to bed.

This all happened Monday. Tuesday the stomach bug went from my upper tract to my lower. I called the midwife Wednesday and they suggested some medicine that worked wonders. My parents came home Wednesday too, so Caleb spent Thursday with them so I could continue resting. Today, I feel a little worn down, but I'm eating good and have no nausea or other nasty symptoms. Baby Girl continues to move around well.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for me. Whether you knew about our specific situation or not. God was ever-present during this time. While at the midwife's, in the ultrasound room, in triage, while puking into the toilet. His presence could be felt : )

Hopefully, the next 6 weeks or so (crazy how soon, huh?!?) will be less dramatic. I will keep you up-to-date, regardless : )

Digging into James

Last December, I wasn't quite sure if I was going to enroll in our church's Women's Bible Study for this spring semester. How long was I actually going to be able to attend? Was I going to have time to do homework?

I presented these concerns to my dear husband, who gently, but firmly, told me that Bible Study was good for me and that I should sign-up. Don't worry about what you won't be able to do and just enjoy what you can learn when you are able to go.

I was happily surprised by his quick, positive, straight-forward answer. (Don't we need that sometimes? Just somebody to say "Go for it!") So I looked over the class options and decided on the class that was the most expensive and had the most homework. : ) What was Ross' response to that? "Obviously!" he exclaimed, with maybe a tinge of sarcasm, but mostly with a complex understanding of his slightly crazy wife.

That class was a Precepts Upon Precepts study of the book of James. I am soooo glad that he encouraged me- that I picked that one- and that he let me go through with it : )

We are 3 weeks into the course. I've read the book of James at least 10 times. I've read chapter 1 at least a dozen times. I've read 1:1-12 too many times to count.

Some of you are probably groaning right now. I don't blame you. That doesn't sound like much fun. But believe me. God's word is full of truth and insight. And sometimes we don't get it the first time, or the second, or the third... By reading and rereading and asking questions and looking for keywords, we begin to see His heart and His will.

And what is His heart and will for us? Well, in Chapter 1- it's that our faith become perfected. How does He accomplish that? By helping us endure through trials. "Obviously!" you say (much like my dear husband did).

Now after all that reading, I can't tell you that I totally understand why that's the way God causes us to grow. I can just tell you that it's the way He uses. And that He wants us to do it joyfully. And that we will receive a crown of life if we persevere.

Our God is a good God. His Word reveals it over and over again. I want to encourage you to read it. Just start there. Reading what the Word says. Then start asking questions and looking for answers. Start talking to people about what you're reading.

It will change your life and your heart. : )

Vices are Virtues are Vices

The following thoughts are not completely my own. They stemmed from a chapter in Rachel Jankovic's book, Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches (don't you just love that title? : ) ) I encourage you to read more of Rachel's thoughts here and to consider purchasing the book here.

Practically every personality trait can manifest itself in both positive and negative ways. Here are a few examples from my own little family.

Ross often loses track of time and is tardy to almost every engagement.

I, on the other hand, always know what time it is and strive to be early to every appointment.

When stated that way, (other than sounding terribly prideful) it highlights a positive aspect of my personality and a negative of Ross'. While it can be very easy to think in these terms, it can be more helpful for our marriage if I think of it this way:

Ross' agenda is not constrained to a clock. He enjoys each moment of life and moves on to the next activity when it seems appropriate to do so.

I, on the other hand, am a slave to time and often don't enjoy the moment because I'm too busy preparing myself for the next thing on the agenda.

See how, basically, it's the same trait being demonstrated- just manifesting itself differently? I may get angry when Ross is late getting home from work one day (even though he was spending the time building relationship with a non-Christian co-worker) but I probably don't mind it too much if he leaves late for work one morning because he and I had a meaningful conversation.

The same principle works with your kids.

Caleb sometimes laughs when I scold him. I, on the other hand, am quick to obey orders.

or

Caleb is not afraid of conflict and confrontation. I, on the other hand, melt when someone corrects me- so my obedience is often just an attempt to avoid any conflict whatsoever.

Let me encourage you to take a few minutes and think about the people you live with. What are some ways that they annoy or irritate you? Can they use that same trait in a positive way? Do they? How can you encourage them to do so? What are some traits in yourself that manifest themselves negatively? How can you focus on bringing out the positive in yourself?

Here's the truth. God made us unique and different. We image Him in so many ways. Sin came into the world and corrupted EVERYTHING- most especially, those personalities He designed. Jesus came and lived out a perfect life. Because of His sacrifice on the cross, we now have the grace and power to live rightly like He did. He can transform our hearts and help us to live out that unique personality in a way that glorifies God, not our sinful selves.

Thanks, Jesus!!