I'm His Genevieve

When you do something as crazy as having a baby at home, on accident... you're bound to get a bit of criticism. 

"What were you thinking?" 
"Didn't you know you were in labor?" 
"Next time... you should go to the hospital 3 weeks early!"

At 7 weeks postpartum, I can handle the flack pretty well. 

At 2 days postpartum, though, I was blessed with the fact that no one was questioning what I had done.
The 911 operator didn't scold me.
Not one firefighter shamed me.
None of the nurses at the hospital reprimanded me.
The midwife, with eyes wide and bright, simply wanted to hear my story.

No one questioned me- and that was good.  Because the last thing that a new mom needs to hear is that she just did something wrong.

Just one person, a few hours postpartum, showed disapproval of what I had done:

My dad.

"Drusie, didn't we tell you that the 2nd one comes faster?  Baby, why didn't you go to the hospital?" 

At first, I was hurt by these comments.  Didn't he know that this was the coolest thing I had ever done?  We were okay.  Nobody was hurt.  In all actuality, it was fun!

And then I realized it:

I'm his Genevieve.

I'm his baby girl, trying to act like a grown-up.  Never mind that everything turned out fine and it was a good story.  Just the thought- the slightest thought-of something happening to his baby girl- was unbearable. 

There's something so precious about having a baby girl.  It's different than having a boy.  I want Caleb to be strong and manly.  I want him to be brave and fight for what's right.  But Genevieve is like a flower.  Please admire.  Please handle with care.  Don't you dare hurt my baby girl.

So glad I have a Genevieve. 
So glad I'm somebody's Genevieve. 

Bringing My Heart Home

When Ross and I were first married, I LOVED the idea of being a homemaker.  Ross had lived in a house for four years- so I had a real home to decorate and care for.  I loved it.  I spent that first summer and my last semester of college gladly cooking, cleaning and decorating.  It was fun.

Then, I student taught and started teaching school.  I came home so very tired.  I would cook- and that was about it.  Cleaning happened, but only when someone was coming to dinner : )  Decorating stopped almost completely. 

Then Caleb came.  And I was home... constantly.  And I really wanted to be anywhere but home.  It suddenly was so boring and mundane.  Although I was home constantly... caring for him was so overwhelming... again, cooking would happen, but little else.  Cleaning and caring for our home seemed like such a huge task.  And a very not-fun-one at that.

One afternoon, Caleb was sleeping in my arms and I was reading Feminine Appeal-a book we have a love-hate relationship with... (I love it, many of you hate it... we can still all be friends : ) ) The book is an expostion of Titus 2.  I was reading the chapter on "being busy at home." 

I don't know if you know it or not, but in Titus (which is in the Bible :)) women are COMMANDED to be busy at home.  That's so counter-cultural, you know?  Society drives us to be busy everywhere- work, school, shopping, even church- everywhere except home.  Yet, God, in all of His wisdom, tells us to get busy in the simplest place. 

The chapter I was reading encouraged me to change my outlook on housework and homemaking.  Stop looking at it as mundane and boring.  Stop thinking it's too much.  Start loving your husband and your children and honoring your God in the simplest place.  Love the LORD your God by doing the dishes.

I know what I just wrote is so not politically correct.  But it's biblical.  : )

Now let's fast forward 18 months....

Caleb and Genevieve and I were very busy this morning- we were out and about with my mom.  First, the social security office (oh, the joys...) then Target, then lunch and some frozen yogurt (yum!).  A few moments ago, I was sitting on the couch, going over the rest of the week in my head.  Genevieve is getting her pictures taken this week.  We have a few social engagements.  Now, when am I going to mop the kitchen floor?

That thought made me smile so big!  God is doing a good work in my heart!  The thought of mopping the kitchen floor- a year and a half ago- would have made me want to puke.  Now, it's a reasonable thought.  It's a task that needs to be done.  A task that honors my husband and my God.  I need to set aside time to do it : )

Thanks, God, for stirring my heart towards things of you.  Thanks for bringing my heart home : )

The Simple Life

I haven't blogged in over a week! I'm sure you can imagine that life around here is kinda busy. It often feels like I feed one, then change another. Then feed the second one and change the other. Then I eat something, then it's time for the baby to be fed again... Both babies will nap at the same time in the afternoon (thank God!!) so I nap then too. And then we start the process all over again...

I can choose to look at this situation a couple of different ways-

• I can be negative and think about all the talents God has given me and all the education I have and think that my days should consistent of more than just feedings, diaper changes and naps. This way of thinking is unhelpful, seflish, and inconsistent with the gospel.

• I can be grateful for the simple tasks I have ahead of me. While many others are stressed with responsbilities at school and work and are overwhelmed with the tasks before them, I have such a simple routine. Eat, sleep, change, play.

There were so many days with Caleb that I chose the first way of thinking. And it stole my joy. This season is so short. I know that now.

So today, I'll rejoice in eating and changing. It's not mundane or unimportant. It's simple. It's servanthood. It's sacrifice. It's what God is calling me to do Today. And I will rejoice in it : )

Early Easter Morning

It's early Easter morning. Really early. Like 3am. Genevieve is hungry. But she won't latch. She's just lying there, screaming at me, as I attempt to feed her. Ross is sitting next to me dozing off. I just want to go back to sleep.

"Please, baby girl. Eat. Mommy wants to go back to sleep."

Then a thought enters my mind. A sweet thought. An encouraging thought. A gospel-centered thought.

"Dru-Lynn, I sacrificed my life for you. You can sacrifice a little bit of sleep for her."

My heart is both convicted and elated at the same time. "Yes, Lord. I will sacrifice a little bit of sleep for her. May it glorify and honor you today as we remember all that you gave up for us."

Amen! Happy Easter to you and yours : )

Trip to the ER

Okay, I'm sure the title of this post startled you, so before I get into the details, let's take care of the basic facts:

• Last night, I went to the emergency room. I was admitted, examined by a doctor and discharged all within 2 hours.
• The reason for my visit is, apparently, not that uncommon, even though I had never read anything about it before, nor have I heard anyone talk about it happening to them.
• I am choosing to blog about it because if it ever happens to you- I don't want you to panic, like I did- even though, it's a bit disgusting. Read on at your own risk : )

After you have a baby, your body busily cleans itself out. You basically have a long period which cleans out the lining of your uterus. It starts heavy (really heavy!) and red and then slowly tapers off to pink, then brown, then yellowish.

I had gone through this progression. So I was surprised when I went to the bathroom yesterday afternoon and saw some bright red spots on my pantyliner. I knew that sometimes if you are too active, too soon bleeding can start up again. I told myself that was all it was and that I needed to stop going out of the house. We had planned on going to youth group last night, but I decided that was not a good idea. I called Ross and asked him if we could just stay home and rest. He agreed.

So the four of us (the 4 of us! : ) ) were at home, enjoying dinner and each other's company. At 8pm, I went to use the restroom. When I went to clean myself, I realized that there was something hanging out of me. Very disturbing. It was long, bloody, and flesh-like. It totally freaked me out. I cleaned myself, closed the lid of the toilet, washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom. I told Ross that something scary had happened and I needed to call the midwife. I tried calling her directly and she didn't answer. I then called the after-hours line and left a message. I then waited and waited and waited for someone to call me back. No one ever did.

I have had a really wonderful experience with these midwives. This is, really, the first complaint I have about them...

After waiting around for an hour, and thinking about what was lurking in the toilet, and what else could possibly come out of me, I told Ross, "We need to go to the hospital." "Like, the ER?"he said. "Yes."

"How would that work?" I had been thinking this through in my head for the past hour, so I quickly responded. "We'll call the neighbor and ask her to watch Caleb. Then we'll call your mom to come relieve her. Genevieve comes with us in case she needs to be fed." Ross nodded his head and said okay.

It all worked out like I had imagined and we were in the car in 10 minutes. (Oh yeah. I brought "the specimen" with us.) As we drove down our street, I asked Ross if he could pray and drive at the same time. He nodded and prayed that my body would be well... that if it needed healing that He would do that... Ross prayed that what we were doing was just precautionary.

We walked into the ER together and both stated at the same time that we'd never done this before. We went through the paperwork and triage process. We frowned at the "No children under 12 allowed in patient areas" sign. Would I be seen by a doctor all alone?

As it turns out, Genevieve and Ross could accompany me. Which was wonderful, because there was a LOT of waiting after that. Poor Ross would have worried and poor Genevieve would have starved (not really, but she did get really hungry at one point : ) )

A nurse asked me a bunch of questions. She did not seem too concerned. A doctor came and spoke with me and this was his consensus:

• It's perfectly normal to pass pieces of tissue up to 3 weeks after delivery.
• It looks like I passed a piece of placenta and a part of the bag of waters.
• As long as I am not bleeding heavily, in pain or have a fever, there is nothing to worry about.

The doctor told me that he understood my concern, thought it was wise that I come in to be checked, but that there was really nothing to worry about. I was then discharged.

Honestly, last night's experience was way scarier than delivering Genevieve at home : ) I knew a baby was supposed to come out of me... but not that!

Just in case it ever happens to you- don't panic, but do call your doctor. Hopefully, yours will answer the phone and you won't need to spend $80 to be reassured : )

An Attack on Intimacy

Parenthood has the potential to bring great joy and intimacy into Christian marriages. That's part of God's amazing plan. There's something wonderful about seeing the fruit of your two bodies live and grow. Ross has been humbled and encouraged by the way I have let my body come undone for our babies. I have been challenged and strengthened by the way he so preciously and graciously meets the needs of all 3 of us.

Ross was able to take all last week off to be with us. This was a precious time. Ross and I are dear friends, so even though we didn't go anywhere and slept little- it felt like a vacation- like a getaway with your best friend. It was a sweet time.

He went back to work yesterday and I knew that transition was going to be difficult. It was hard when Caleb was born, too. I didn't know HOW it was going to be difficult though...

All of those good things that happened last week, all that tenderness and intimacy- all of that brings glory to God and joy to His heart. He WANTS married couples to be happy together. That's part of the plan. He challenges us to grow through marriage as well, but it's His desire that we be one and that we enjoy that union. God desires those things.

The Enemy despises them.

He's been nagging at my heart lately, but he went full force yesterday. Throughout all last week, he would whisper things in my ear, trying to make me lose my patience with Ross. Trying to make me angry at the man who so willingly sacrifices himself for me. I had been fighting against those emotions pretty well. Until yesterday.

Last night, when Ross was home with us, as we were all eating dinner as a sweet little family, Satan reminded me of ways that Ross had hurt me in the past. Things that had been confessed and forgiven. Things that didn't matter anymore. Things we had agreed to leave behind. The Enemy kept reminding me of them- trying to cause strife and division among us.

I couldn't help it and started crying- for basically, the rest of the evening. Partly because those memories hurt. Mostly because I felt attacked. A lot of it was simply anger. "Leave me ALONE!" I kept quietly screaming in my head.

Poor Ross. The man does nothing but graciously pour himself out for his family, and yet his wife is in emotional distress.

I told you. Satan is downright mean, an insensitive jerk and a gross liar.

This isn't the first time the Enemy has tried to break apart the intimacy in our hearts. It won't be the last. I've found that prayer- out loud, for Ross to hear, has been the best remedy.

So last night, through tears, I prayed that God would guard my heart against Satan's attacks. That while the Enemy whispered lies, that Christ would scream truth. That I would listen to Jesus. That I would cling to my husband and fight for our marriage, and not give in to fear and discouragement. That I would be oh-so-confident in his love for me.

And I was able to sleep.

My heart is still tender though. Please pray for Ross and me when we come to mind. Pray for joy and intimacy and love. Pray for oneness. Pray for growth through these struggles. Pray for happiness and blessing.

I'll be praying for you and your marriages, too. Perhaps now is a good time for you to reflect on ways in which Satan is trying to divide your hearts. Are you quickly losing patience for your spouse? Are you being reminded of ways he has hurt you? Is it easier for you to see the negative, instead of the positive? Do you spend more time complaining than you do confessing and praying for change?

LORD, marriage is a gift from you. Give us what we need to fight to protect it. Thank you for being with us every step of the way. May you be glorified in our marriages today and every day that follows. Amen!

An Encouraging, Timely Message

Heard a wonderful, timely message this morning at Trinity Bible Church from Hebrews 12. All about how God uses suffering to perfect us. God knew my heart needed to hear that!

Here are a few verses worth meditating on:

Hebrews 12: 1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

The sermon was excellent and definitely worth hearing. It hasn't been posted yet (as of 2:45 on 4-1) but if you click HERE, you will be taken to it when it is ready.

May His truth encourage your heart today!