But I Don't Have a Husband...

Before we journey any further, we need to stop for a moment and discuss what all of this means for single women.

First off, I encourage you, if you desire to marry and to bear children, to earnestly present that request before the LORD. He knows your heart and your passions. He does not tire from hearing your will. But you must trust Him as you wait for His answer- and delight yourself in Him as you wait.

Psalm 34:7 says, "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Delight in His goodness and His grace. Delight in the way he provides for you and is intimate with your heart. Delight in the knowledge that He has a great love for you and will do what is best for you.

This is not always easy. Ross and I dated for a long time (considering the amount of time we had known each other prior to dating and the certainty which we felt about our relationship.) There were many evenings where I cried to God- asking Him why we weren't married already. Why He wasn't following my plan.... Patience and reliance is not easy, but critical to the Christian walk.

Secondly, I urge you to use your singleness for His glory! There are so many things that you are free to do that us married ladies are not. You don't have to worry about getting dinner on the table, or being home for nap time. You can pursue exciting missionary endeavors without having to worry about leaving your family at home. I encourage single women to do exciting things for Jesus- to spend your time blessing others, instead of pouting over the marriage you don't have.

Finally, I ask that you apply the principles of Biblical womanhood, found in Titus 2, to your lives as well. You may not have husbands and children, but that doesn't mean you can't support your girlfriends that do. When a friend of yours complains about her husband, gently remind her that you would love to have one yourself and that it is best for her to enjoy the man God has given to her. Delight yourself in other people's children. Teach and guide them to love Jesus with all their hearts.

Honor your bodies and the holiness of marriage by keeping yourself self-controlled and pure. Bless others by using your gifts of hospitality. Shower others with kindness.

Remember how we do all of these things so that the gospel might be proclaimed? Think of the beautiful picture that is presented by a single woman who doesn't complain about her singleness, but rather uses it to glorify God and to edify the body of Christ! A woman who is gracious and kind, hospitable, caring and pure is a lovely display of the gospel.

Do not be ashamed of your singleness, but rather embrace it as an opportunity to love the LORD and be a blessing to His people.

FA: Ch 2: An Enjoyment Kind of Love

Do you love your husband?

Titus 2, first and foremost, commands that older women teach younger women to love their husbands. What kind of love are we talking about here?

The Apostle Paul uses the Greek word for love "phileo". This love can be described as tender or affectionate, passionate, enjoyable, respectful kind of love. It's the love shared between best friends. It is a love that draws people to each other because they like each other, not just because they've promised themselves to each other.

May I ask the question again? Do you love your husband? Do you enjoy him? Do you kindle tender thoughts of him in your heart? Do you look forward to seeing him? Do you share special memories with him? Do you love your husband?

We all can be honest and say that our husbands are not always lovable. We can also all be honest and say that we are not always overflowing with an enjoyment kind of love.

It's easy to get caught up on the things our husbands don't do right- the ways in which we are disappointed or dissatisfied. However, just because it is easy, does not mean it is right.

One of the best ways to kindle an enjoyment kind of love is to start thinking positively about your husband.

What physical traits of his are attractive to you?

When was the last time he made you laugh?

How does he love your children well?

How does he express his love to you?

Does your heart feel happier now, after answering one of those questions?

I can almost guarantee that when you promised to live the rest of your life with your husband, you made that choice because you did enjoy him.

God is making a rather beautiful, life-giving command here. He is saying, "Daughter of mine, I want you to fall in love with your husband every day. I want you to be happy in his arms."

Isn't our God, good? He wants us to be happy, and how do we go about doing that?

By deciding each and every morning to be happy with the man that God has given us. That man is not perfect, and never will be, but we can enjoy him like he's the best guy in the whole world. What a blessed gift to his heart!!

Question for You: What is something you enjoy about your husband??

Comments Welcome!

Carolyn's Blog

Carolyn Mahaney (the author of Feminine Appeal) and her 3 daughters have a blog that they update every week day.

Cari V. introduced me to it and I check it every day!

So full of good, sound, Biblical wisdom- about everything woman.

Check it out here! : )

Quiet Time Challenge

I have a confession to make. In my history of being a Christian, I have been HORRIBLE at disciplining myself to have a daily quiet time. Absolutely awful at it. I go through periods of time when I am committed and I sit down everyday, read and grow. But nothing consistent.

I have a myriad of excuses.

- I'm too tired.

- I don't know what to read.

- I've read that already....

Then, something miraculous happened. I had a baby. Which meant I was even more tired than ever, but so desperately in need of Biblical truth to apply to my every day life!

I've been telling myself that as soon as I'm done with this whole pumping thing, then I could use that time, before Caleb gets up, to do a quiet time.

Well, yesterday I realized that that is just a ridiculous extension of an excuse and decided to do something about it. I found this great website- www.biblestudytools.com- and got started.

My "pumping station" has included the laptop for some time now. A few pumps during the day, I'll check my e-mail or Facebook to help pass the time. Now, during my 9:30 am pump, I'm going to read the Word.

This website not only has the Scriptures available online for you to read, but also helps you choose reading plans- so you know what to read. I chose the Chronological Plan, which sets up the whole Bible for you in order of the times when each of the events happened. I thought this would be helpful in understanding how Biblical events work together.

So I began yesterday. I read Genesis 1-3 and then today read Genesis 4-6. I've read these passages several times, but you know what? God brought new insight.

He is so good and honors when we commit to knowing his Word.

I encourage you, if you aren't doing something consistent already, to start TODAY! Ask the LORD to help you carve out time and get reading!

I also encourage you to hold me accountable. Comment on the blog, write on my Facebook page, grab me at church and ask me what Scripture I read that morning.

Commitment is so much easier when done in community!

Several years ago, I taught 1st grade Pioneer Girls at Trinity. It was a wonderful experience. The first verse I had them memorize was Psalm 119:11. I plan on teaching it to Caleb as soon as he can talk : )

"I have hidden Your Word, in my heart, so that I might not sin against you."

Amen!

Saturday Night Priorities

I want to write a blog post now, but my sweet husband and cute baby boy are here and ready to play. So I'm going to shut the laptop and enjoy them.

I encourage you to do the same : )

I'll write something when Ross is back at work, Caleb is sleeping and the dishes are done.

(Okay, maybe just when the boys are preoccupied : ) )

FA: Ch 1: Why We Do What We Do

If we choose to exemplify the virtues of Titus 2, we are going to stand out. And that is exactly what God wants.

Loving our husbands and children, being self-controlled and pure, being busy at home, being kind and submitting to our husbands are all ways in which Christ's love can be practically applied in our lives. They are not natural- selfishness and greed are. So when people see us doing these things, they'll wonder how (and why) we are doing them. This opens the door for us to share the gospel.

The reason we do these things is found in Titus 2.

Verse 5: "so that the Word of God may not be reviled."

Verse8: "so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us."

Verse 10: "so that in everything [we] may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior."

God calls us to these virtues so that His Word may be seen as transformational, so that enemies will have nothing to accuse us of and so that we can wear the gospel. He wants us to be a picture of His grace and mercy.

When we put on these virtues, there will be practical benefits. Our husbands will probably love us in return. Our children will probably grow into loving, caring, responsible adults. Our lives will probably be free of addictions. Our homes will most likely be organized and clean. People will probably like us.

But the real reason we do what we do is Christ. That His name would be honored and glorified. I know I can't do it all on my own, but through His strength I can love others well.

When we strive to be Titus 2 women, calling on Christ for His strength to help us- we demonstrate the gospel and its transformational power in our lives.

I don't know about you, but that's what I want : )

FA: Ch 1: Biblical Womanhood is Not Popular or PC

Moving along in chapter one, Carolyn tells the story of her friend Lisa, who gave up a prestigious job to pursue the virtues outlined in Titus 2.

Now seems like a good time to talk about the fact that pursuing these virtues is not popular in our culture today, nor is it politically correct...

First, the call to love our husbands. Our culture likes talking about love and romance, but when it comes down to the difficult aspects of love- sacrifice, compromise, selflessness- we start getting nervous. We'll discover later on that the love this passage is talking about is phileo, or an enjoyment love. Unfortunately, it's not popular for women to express enjoyment in their husbands. Too often, we hear women complaining about all the things their husbands do wrong and not enough about what they do right. However, God is calling us to love our husbands, sacrificially and passionately.

Next, the call to love our children. Again, our culture likes this idea in its perfect form. People love babies and the pride we feel in our children's accomplishments, but giving up a prestigious job to stay home with our kids?? That's questionable. When people ask me if I work, I tell them that I am staying home with Caleb. Immediately, the next question raised is, "Well, when will you go back?" Honestly, the answer is- unless there is some catastrophic situation- never. But I feel some sort of guilt in that answer. Why? Because our culture quietly whispers that women of real importance work outside the home.

How about self control? Culture HATES this term. That would mean no premarital sex, no gluttony, no drunkenness, no fits of rage... That would mean becoming responsible for our actions. That would mean we'd probably spend a lot less money (and have a lot less heartache). Self control isn't popular because when someone demonstrates it- there's an immediate feeling of guilt by those who don't.

And purity?? How I wish our culture would embrace this!! Purity is such a tender expression of beauty and love. God calls us to live a pure life- especially a sexually pure one- and in so doing, we trust in His plan for our lives, for our marriages and for our bodies. I think we should start a purity revolution. If only it were cool to be pure...

What about being busy at home? There's an immediate adverse reaction to this as well. At home? I have to be busy at home. But that's so boring... At times it may feel boring, but I don't know about you. There's plenty to do around here. And when we care for our homes, we are caring for our families and for the blessings God has entrusted to us. Pretty important, I'd say.

Kindness seems easy enough and surely well accepted, but what about when I am called to be kind to an angry person or if kindness involves sacrificing what I want for what someone else wants. Not so easy after all...

And, finally, submitting to one's husband. Now everyone gets a little anxious. "But my husband doesn't really know what he's talking about," someone says. Or, "That's so outdated." No, actually, it is not. We'll discuss later-on how beautiful submission is- not a sign of weakness, but an opportunity to model Christ.

I'd like to encourage you as we move along that some things in this book will catch you off guard and make you defensive. Please reflect on these things. Is it because culture has told you that you don't have to sacrifice what you want for the sake of others or that you deserve to do what you want to do?

As we strive to be women of God, some sacrifices must be made, but I promise, it's for our good.