Humble Yourself

I took away a lot of information and application from this past weekend's marriage conference. And I am excited to be able to share it here with you!

The first would be humility. We don't hear that word very much but Gary and Betsy Ricucci used it A LOT. They thanked us for humbling ourselves and attending the conference. (I hadn't thought much about that. I was humbling myself to sit underneath their teaching. And perhaps, just perhaps, those who could come up with a million excuses not to go maybe were a tad bit prideful... perhaps?)

They talked about being humble with our spouses. That can be manifested in several ways. Maybe there's something heavy on your heart, but you're afraid to share it with your husband because he might think you're overreacting, or oversensitive or simply foolish. If it's heavy on your heart, however, it's best for you to swallow your pride and share it. One-ness happens when we share.

Or maybe your husband would really be blessed if you tried something new with him. Maybe you're scared of this new thing (perhaps that fear is of failure or of embarrassment?) It would be best for you to humble yourself, not worry about what others think, and go for it.

I've had to humble myself in this regard, lately. Ross loves to bike ride and for his birthday, I bought him a trailer for Caleb to ride in. Ross wanted it to become a family affair. And I am, honestly, afraid of bike riding. As a little girl, I had a few too many accidents. But about a month ago (before it got so dog-on hot) I humbled myself and got on a bike. And actually had fun! : )

Maybe humility looks like admitting to your husband that you don't how to do something, or that you don't really like your job, or that you don't have all the answers.

I've been doing my best to apply this the past couple of days. We've had a good conversation about an area of sin in my life. Another productive conversation about sex and yet another conversation about areas in which we'd like to grow in our relationship with the LORD. All of that good conversation, all because of humility.

Another way that humility can be used to bless marriages and one that Ross and I are still looking into/working on is the idea of sharing your marriage with others. Everybody at church could easily say that we are sinners and we have an imperfect marriage. How come we're pretending to be perfect, then? The Ricucci's urged us to find another couple (or 2 or 3) to be real with- to humbly talk through our struggles with.

What great ideas!

I Peter 5:5 says

"In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Who doesn't want God's favor in their life- especially in their marriage? : )

I Think Too Much!

I have a mind that goes a mile a minute. This can be a beneficial thing. Since I constantly think, I come up with ideas and solutions pretty quickly. My memory works well, since I repeat thoughts in my mind often. This can be a devastating thing as well. It can be hard to turn my mind off to go to sleep or to simply enjoy the day. That's the trouble I am having now...

Here are just a few thoughts going through my head today:

1- What are we going to do with this house? Are we going to stay in it and make it everything we want? Are we going to move? When would we do that? Where would we go? Would we sell this one or rent it? How much more room will we need anyway? How many more kids are we going to have?

2- Speaking of kids, I want a new obstetrician. Gee, it would be nice to give birth at a birth center. (Spend 20 minutes looking up insurance coverage on-line).

3- There's so much to do around here! Why did I make a nice breakfast this morning? Now I have more dishes to do... and a salad to make for tomorrow... and, and, and.

In all this thinking and mental hubbub, it's easy to get anxious and overwhelmed. Then I hear a still, small voice whisper, "Be still. Enjoy the gifts I've given you today (enter Caleb giggle here). Don't worry about tomorrow. It will worry about itself. Now is not the time to figure life out. Enjoy the life in front of you now."

(Big sigh) Okay, Jesus. Please bring the peace that transcends all understanding. Allow me just to enjoy and not think too much. I'll (try) to leave all the planning up to you : )

God is So Good!

This morning, Caleb had just woken up. He was so smiley and happy. I laid him on the changing table to put his clothes on him and he just beamed at me.

That was when it hit me.

God is so good!

Being a parent is a rough job. God knows that. He uses it for his good. Each day, he is using Caleb to teach me. Some days I learn about my own selfishness. Other days I am reminded of how much I need God's wisdom. Or how I must trust in Him for things I can't see. Some days I must lay down my wants and desires for the needs of my son.

God is so good!

He could have taught me any of these lessons through painstaking trials. And sometimes parenthood feels that way. But the truth is, loving and caring for little Caleb is a great joy.

God is so good!

He is using someone precious and sweet to teach me. He didn't have to do that.

But I'm so very glad He did.

Affirming our Husbands- a Glorious Task!

I've started reading an awesome book entitled Love that Lasts "When Marriage Meets Grace" by Gary and Betsy Ricucci. (This is the couple that is speaking at the marriage retreat that is coming up!)

Chapter 3 is written specifically for wives and talks about our role. It is FULL of sound theology applied to the marriage relationship. There is so much truth in it to reflect on!

Here's one that I've been pondering ever since I read it:

"All the godly qualities in your husband find their ultimate source in God and his grace. To recognize and affirm these things is really to be alert to God's activity and to give God praise. To fail in this is to rob God of the glory genuinely due Him."

Wow! I know I should be affirming my husband. I know that it would be an encouragement to his heart and that it is a kind thing to do. But sometimes, his imperfections seem to scream at me, and I have a really hard time not focusing on them.

But the truth is: God is at work in my husband. Ross is being transformed day-by-day into Christlikeness. Often the progress is slow, almost invisible. Yet God is at work.

And if I don't see it- if I don't acknowledge it-if I don't affirm it- if I don't thank God for it: I am robbing the Creator of the universe the glory due Him!

Wow! Suddenly, affirming my husband doesn't just seem like something I ought to do- but rather something I want to do. I really want to glorify God in everything. I really want to see the ways that God is working. I really want to see the good and godly over the bad and sinful.

I'm working on affirming Ross more. Even if it's the same things each day- God's grace is faithful and I will acknowledge the faithful work He has done in my husband. We need to be affirming our husbands (and really, everybody- God is at work in ALL of his children!) privately in our homes and publicly amongst our families and churches.

We can even affirm our husbands on the Internet. Here I go!

Ross has been demonstrating stronger spiritual leadership in our home lately. He has always prayed before we eat dinner-but now we have written down specific requests for things in the church and people in our lives. He is being a great example of an intercessor. I am thankful for our dinner prayers each night.

So... how is God revealing His grace through your husband today?

Blessed!

About a month ago, Ross, Caleb and I went to a friend's wedding reception. They had gotten married on the beach in California and were celebrating with family and friends at their parents' home. It was a very fun, joyous occasion- one in which we saw a lot of lovely faces from our past.

One of the dear ones that was there was a girl that I had grown up with and was the maid-of-honor in my wedding, Lindsay. We spent some time chatting and catching up. She also spent quite a lot of time loving on Baby Caleb- who she dearly calls her little nephew.

Lindsay had Caleb bouncing on one of her knees. He was so happy and so was she. I smiled at the way they interacted with each other- how she obviously loved him so and how he could feel that love. They both were grinning from ear to ear.

Then she looked at me and said, "You are so blessed! You have a beautiful baby boy. You have a wonderful, handsome husband. You are a beautiful girl. You are so blessed!"

Her words made me want to cry. She was so right. My life is so good. I have been given everything I need and so much more. I wanted to cry because I so easily forget that truth. It's so easy to think about the ways that that beautiful boy irritates me or that wonderful, handsome man has let me down.

Another part of me wanted to cry for Lindsay. She is a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart- but she doesn't have a husband and a child to love. I know these are desires of her heart- ones that God hasn't blessed her with (yet?? : ) ) In spite of that, however, she had a huge smile on her face- as if watching me be blessed was a blessing to her.

Thanks, God, for Lindsay. Thanks that you have given her eyes to see things that I had become blinded to. Thanks for her words. May I be ever reminded of the ways you have blessed me and may I, like Lindsay, remind others of your blessings when they forget them. And, God, please bless Lindsay abundantly as well- and let me rejoice in watching her be blessed.

All I Do is Dishes...

I stood at the kitchen sink this morning, staring down the pile. I let out a huge sigh and began the drudgerous work. The saucepan that I used last night to warm soup. The brownie pan that was still half-full of brownies- that just had to get out of my house. The half-dozen bottles that Caleb drank yesterday. The half-dozen cereal bowls that came from, well- I'm not sure exactly how 2 people can use so many bowls.... And all the other odds and ends that land in the kitchen sink.

Halfway through the chore, I thought to myself, "Is this what my life has become? Did I go to a university for 4 years, graduate with honors to do dishes? Didn't I just do all of this yesterday? And the day before that... And the day before that? Won't I do this again tomorrow?" Those thoughts are enough to make an otherwise sensible person go insane.

I took a deep breath, stared down the dishes, and thought about the little hands that hold the bottles and the sweet man who uses all those bowls. Perhaps I am the least of these.

Jesus would do the dishes. He washed the disciples feet. He would wash all the utensils, too. Doing the dishes (or the laundry, or the diaper changes or the yardwork or the whatever...) is not a menial task. It is not unimportant. It is not unseen.

Our Father in heaven looks down upon us and smiles for our faithfulness and our selflessness. It's what His Son would do.

Now go, and do the dishes, and rejoice. For the Father who loves you and the dear mess-makers He has given to you.

Sharing Jesus

When I hold Baby Caleb in my arms, when he gives me the biggest smile, when I watch him peacefully sleeping, I feel a deep urge in my heart to be with him forever.

I so desperately want Caleb to know the Lord and to love Him well. I want him to seek God's will first in His life. I want Caleb to be in heaven with us.

I know that salvation is not inherited-that someday Caleb is going to have to make that decision to follow Christ on his own. I also know that it's super important that Ross and I cultivate a household that honors and talks about the gospel often.

Caleb is only 6 months old- but he's heard the salvation story often. You may think I'm a little crazy, but I want discussions about the Bible and God to be commonplace in our house. So whenever I sin (which I am discovering happens an awful lot...) I tell Caleb why I do. Here's what that looks like:

The other day, Caleb was cranky. He was tired and illogical. He was screaming at me, pulling my hair, scratching my face. I was getting majorly frustrated- very fast. In a moment of weakness, I sinned, and in a very loud voice told him to "Just go to sleep!" (The fact that my voice was loud didn't necessarily make it a sin- but I can tell you that the anger I felt in my heart was definitely sinful...)

I immediately felt regret and told Caleb I was sorry. I then told him that Mommy wishes she never sinned, but that isn't possible. I told him how God made the world and He made it good. He made us and we were good. But we chose to not obey God and let sin into the world. And sin is what makes things that were meant to be glorious and beautiful, not so glorious and beautiful anymore. I told him that everybody who has every lived sins, except Jesus. Then I tell him that Jesus was God's son- all God and all man- and that he lived a perfect life. Jesus died and took our sins upon Himself. If we believe in Him we can go to Heaven and live with Jesus forever. Meanwhile, here on earth, we still sin but God is at work in us to make us more and more like Jesus.

Now, Caleb was crying through most of this gospel presentation, but it's still important that I share it. He needs to hear these words- these life-giving words. He needs to know the story and just how beautiful it is. So I've committed to sharing it with him whenever I can.

Now the question, for myself, is: How come I don't feel that sort of conviction with every person I meet? Every one of us is fallen and headed for Hell. How come I don't give that presentation to people in the grocery store, at the bank, at the mall? How come I don't talk about it with people that are close to me- aunts and uncles, friends? How come I don't even remind fellow believers about the beauty of the gospel?

Here's the truth and it's ugly: I don't love people the way that I should. I love Caleb and my love for him is deeper than it is for almost everyone. My pure desire to share Jesus with Caleb comes from a deep mother's love for him.

So a new prayer for mine is that I'd share the gospel much more openly. That God would give me a heart like Him, that loves each and every person as a dear, sweet child.

Will you pray that prayer with me? And will you seek to share the gospel with people. Start with your family- your kids and your spouse. And then let the Lord lead you from there.