Of course I love them, I carried them for 9 months, didn't I? I bore the pain of childbirth, didn't I? I change their diapers. I get up in the middle of the night with them... several times, if necessary. Of course I love them.
Maybe you have teenagers. Your list sounds more like: I choose my battles, I let them stay out till 11 (and wait up the whole time for them), I deal with attitudes and talking back. I feed them and their friends...
Again, the Greek word used here is phileo- an enjoyment kind of love. We aren't just called to care for our children, to sacrifice ourselves for them. We are called to like them.
Sometimes this is simple. Just a couple minutes ago, Caleb was lying on the floor- smiling at me. I bent down and showered him with kisses. He laughed. No problem with enjoyment there.
A few nights ago, however, Caleb woke up at 3am and would not go back to sleep. I need my sleep. The fact that he takes it away has been very difficult for me. I found myself getting angry at my sweet son. Literally angry. I wanted to tell him to shut up and go to sleep.
How horrible! How evident is my dirty sin! I began praying a simple, but profound prayer:
"Lord, help me to value my son more than I value my sleep."
I've prayed that prayer several times in the past few days. Caleb is infinitely more valuable than a few minutes or even hours of sleep. Yet my heart gets confused. It's easy to not enjoy him during those times.
But I am called to love him- to enjoy him- always.
May the LORD teach us how to enjoy our children.
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