At last week's bridal shower, I had the opportunity to share 3 truths with the bride. I told her that I was so glad that I had that opportunity- because I needed to remind myself of a few things as well!
Isn't it so easy, when you are married, to fall into lies and discouragement? I hope this post (and the two to follow, hopefully :) ) will bring hope to your heart!
Truth #1: God did not create marriage primarily for our happiness, but our holiness.
Satan lies to us from several angles in this regard. When we are little girls, we hear fairy tales where Prince Charming comes, marries the girl and they live (say it with me now...) "Happily Ever After!" When we're older- a small part of our heart is convinced that if we could just get a man to commit to us... we'd be happier.
Yet, at the same time, Satan's telling men that marriage will weigh them down. That it won't be any fun. Girls are sitting around waiting for marriage so their happy life can start. Men drag their feet, because they're convinced as soon as they do, their happy life will end.
But the truth, my friends, is that marriage IS a happy establishment. God saw that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone. Life in the perfect garden with the perfect God- was still a little lonely. God gave Eve to Adam as a gift- a gift of happiness.
I told Marisa last week that marriage is full of happy moments. If you are married, take a minute to think of them. The joy of your wedding day. The sweetness of late night conversations. The moments when you know what each other is thinking. The simple pleasure of a quiet dinner together. The exhilaration of love making. The excitement of delivering a baby together. Marriage is a happy thing.
Sometimes.
While God did mean for marriage to be a glorious, happy institution- that's not all He is concerned with. Mature Christians know this full well- my happiness is not his top priority.
He is, however, extremely concerned with my sanctification. Am I becoming more like His son Christ Jesus? Am I producing fruit? These questions are in the forefront of His mind.
And marriage is the perfect institution to develop character and fruit.
If you are married, take a minute to think of the last time you had to be loving towards your selfish husband, or joyful while doing what he wanted to do, or peaceful when you just wanted to scream, or patient when he wasn't doing things your way, or kind when he had just hurt your feelings, or good when you wanted to be bad, or gentle when harsh words filled your mind, or faithful when surely it would be more fun to be married to anybody else or self-controlled when you wanted to explode in anger.
These are some pretty vivid examples, but I'm sure you're nodding your head at at-least one of them. (I'm working hard on the patience one...)
Now take a minute to think of what you would have been nodding your head to when you were first married. Are things any different now? Has your character been developed? Even just a little more patient, or kind or loving or gentle?
See. God knew what He was doing. Isn't He good? He's at work. Rejoice as He perfects you. Character is developed in lots of different ways- in lots of different situations. Christians grow through trials and persecutions. While walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
I'm thankful that I can grow a little bit, each day, as I hold hands with my best friend. And I'm thankful God is at work perfecting him, too... as he deals with sinful little me!
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