Another Baby...

Caleb has always been a sincere joy- between his sheer cuteness and curiosity- but he is even more of a joy now- without the colic, without the mid-night feedings, without the screaming for "no apparent reason." We have a system now and a schedule and a language, really. He understands me and I understand his needs. It's a beautiful thing : )

And something that urges my heart towards another baby. So a few months ago, I stopped popping the nightly birth control pill and hoped for the best.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten how heartwrenching "making a baby" can be.

You'd think, with all of our knowledge about biology and science, that conceiving a baby is easier these days. We now know what to look for. We can count calendar days or take temperatures and know "the day" when it all can happen. And once we know that we simply woo our husbands while wearing a new piece of lingerie and Wha-La- baby! Right?? Wrong.

The problem with all this "knowledge" is that we begin to think that we actually are in control of this situation. As if we're the ones that are actually making the babies. Ha! How off-course is that? Sure, my husband and I must participate in the process, and it sure does help if we participate at the right time, but really, that our simple, frail bodies make a whole new life? To say that would be to rob credit to the One who really is in charge of EVERYTHING.

God makes babies. He is the giver of life to EVERYTHING on the planet. Ross and I may try to make a baby at just the right time, but if it isn't God's will- it's not going to happen. Alternatively, two unmarried people caught in a fit of passion may want anything but a baby, but if it's God's will- lo and behold, a new life is created.

We are not in control. Of most things, really. God is. And while at first I can be upset with that truth, in the end I am grateful. For He knows all things. He knows how far apart Caleb and his brothers and sisters should be. He knows the plan He has for our next one- the friends that child will grow up with, the influence that child will have and his time must not be here just yet.

I say that like I believe it, and I do. But gee, it's hard to remember sometimes! Would you pray for me- for us? Would you pray along with Ross and me (and Caleb, really) that God would bless our family with a new little life in His good timing. Would you pray that God would give us patience along the way?

Thanks, friends : )