R-E-S-P-E-C-T

My friend that came for a visit brought 2 books with her for Ross and me to borrow. They are entitled "For Women Only" and "For Men Only". They've been around for several years. They are written by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn.

My friend brought them over because she said they were very insightful and helpful in understanding the opposite sex. I'd seen them on the store shelves several times and, honestly, my thoughts have always been, "Isn't that a little prideful for a lady to say she understands men well enough to write a book about it? How does she have all this knowledge anyway?"

Well, if I had been gracious enough to read the book's introduction, I would have found out : )

Basically, she's a fiction writer who was doing research for a novel. She started interviewing men about what they thought about certain subjects and was amazed at the findings. She developed 2 national surveys and interviewed thousands of men. This book is a compilation of all that research. Okay- maybe she does have enough knowledge to write a book about this stuff : )

And the books came with a good recommendation from an awesome friend, who knows my heart, so I decided to dig in.

This first chapter talks about a man's deep need for respect. "I already know this," I thought to myself. But then I remembered that I know this, but I don't really, truly understand what it means.

Shaunti's first sub point was that we need to respect our husband's decisions. Hmmmm..... I've been pondering on that point since Saturday and haven't read a paragraph since. I want to work on this part first! : )

I really do respect Ross' decisions. If I think about it, his wisdom is part of the reason why I married him. He's very knowledgeable and very cautious. He doesn't make decisions on a whim, but is thoughtful about everything. Ross makes really wise financial decisions. His decisions are definitely ethical, caring and fair. How come I don't tell him that, though??

So my goal, before I read any further, is to be more affirming of Ross' good decisions. Like actually telling him that I appreciate the way he spends our money or how he takes care of the house.

I also want to be more apt to accept his decisions. Has your husband presented an idea and then asked what you think about it? Ross does this and I answer his honestly- I tell him what I think about it. Perhaps, what he's really saying is, "I want you to like this idea. Please tell me that it is good."

For example, about a week ago, Ross mentioned going up to Prescott for the 4th of July. When he asked me what I thought I said, "That could be fun." This isn't a bad answer- but it would have been more affirming if I had said, "That's a really good idea, Ross. I think we would have lots of fun. You always have good ideas for where we should go on vacation." (That's a true statement- so it's okay to say. It really isn't an embellishment : )

So I want to encourage you to join me in respecting our husbands' decisions and affirming them when they make good ones. I promise it will make their hearts feel good!

Ephesians 5:33

New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)

³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.