The Epi-Pen

For several months, our family fought diaper rash long and hard. Poor Caleb's bottom was often bright red and raw. Our pediatrician (who we mostly really like) kept giving us topical things to put on it. It would get a little better, then far worse.

After talking to LOTS of moms, we became convinced that it wasn't an external problem, but an internal one. Caleb was eating something that was bugging him. So we experimented with lots of things- substituting rice milk for cow's milk, avoiding baby wipes entirely, we even took a very expensive trip to a naturopathic doctor. She told us to give up cow's milk entirely (milk, cheese, yogurt, etc) as well as bananas and soy. We did and things got better but not perfect.

I finally made an appointment with an allergist. She is super sweet and kind (even though she ordered a test that poked my baby a bunch of times...)

The results? Caleb is not allergic to cow's milk- or the lactose or protein inside it. He's not allergic to bananas or soy. He's not allergic to a single grass or mold (as of yet...). He is, however, severely allergic to tree nuts.

Go figure, right?

We've continued avoiding cow's milk of all kinds. Caleb drinks goat's milk with a multivitamin and a probiotic stirred in. We still don't use typical baby wipes, but wet paper towels. (Not only less chemicals, but less money, too.)

And I now carry an Epi-Pen where ever I go.

I picked them up from the pharmacy yesterday and listened with wide eyes as the pharmacist explained how to use it and, if I ever do, that I must call 911- because this is a serious emergency. I looked back at Caleb happily dangling his feet in the shopping cart and took a deep breath.

Ross spent quite a bit of time yesterday "playing" with the training device that comes with the pens. He "shot" it into his own leg several times and tried keeping Caleb still enough to try shooting it into his. (Just in case you have no idea what I am talking about... the real one has a needle in it. The trainer doesn't. Still, I wouldn't let Ross get near me with the training device...)

As Ross is sitting on the floor, trying to get Caleb still so he can practice on him, I mention that if he was really having an allergic reaction so bad that we would need to use it, we probably wouldn't be thinking about not hurting him with the pen- adrenaline would probably take over.

Ross nodded his head in agreement and then we both looked at Caleb- smiling, as he tried grabbing the trainer out of Daddy's hand.

I wanted to cry.

And then I remembered a truth that we have to live by everyday, some days more fervently than others.

Romans 8:15

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' "

Yes, LORD. I am not a slave to fear. Yes, it is true that some horrible, awful thing could happen to my son. But it's not my job to fear it. If fear overtakes me or something truly awful does happen, I can cry "Abba, Father!" and know that you hear me.

What a relief!