Last night, he discovered how to turn the TV on. Ross decided that he didn't want Caleb doing that every 5 minutes- so he grabbed him and told him not to touch again. What does Caleb do? See if Daddy is really serious about this and he touches it again. So Ross tells him "I told you not to do that" flips him over and swats him on the bottom. What does Caleb do? Laughs.
This has been his normal reaction to spanking. Perhaps if we hit him hard enough he wouldn't laugh. But I don't want to HIT him hard enough. And the times that I DO want to hit him hard enough, well- let's just say I think that would be sinning in my anger.
So I pick up Caleb- grab his little face- and tell him "We do what Daddy tells us to do. We obey." And then I marched him into his room, turned the light on, took the blanky out of his crib, set him standing in it and went to my room for a minute. One of Caleb's 1st time outs.
A minute later (literally) I pick up my screaming, crying, tear-streaked baby and tell him that he had a time out because he didn't obey what Daddy had said to do. We love him very much and God wants us to teach him obedience. Caleb clung to me with his big blue eyes dripping.
We've had that same experience 5 times now since that one.
Same scenario. Caleb looks at the TV. Looks and sees if anyone is watching him. And then, regardless if anyone is, he turns it on. And I say "You need to obey the rules" and he ends up screaming in the crib for 1 minute. (I don't know why he hates it that much- but, as you can see, in his case, it works way better than the bottom swat which leads to laughter...)
Last night, he did it a total of two times and Ross was here to support the process. Today, just me and Caleb and 4 time outs- in a matter of 1 hour. I felt like crying.
What got me through, though, and what I hope is getting through to Caleb is a slight change to our approach. While he sits in his crib crying, I sit on my bed praying. I pray for these things:
- That Caleb would learn to obey us.
- That Caleb would learn to obey authority.
- That Caleb would ultimately learn to obey God.
- That Ross and I would model obedience for Caleb.
- That God would reveal to us any areas in our lives where we are not obedient.
(He did this for me today... : ) )
- That we would have patience while we train Caleb.
- That we would have endurance while we train Caleb.
- That we would (quickly!) see the fruits of our labors.
Then, when I pick Caleb up from his crib and I wipe his tears and I explain again why he was in time out, then we pray together. With Caleb in my arms, I pray for these things:
- That Jesus would help Caleb to learn obedience.
- That Jesus would help Caleb to stand up against temptation.
- That Caleb would remember the rules he is supposed to follow.
- That Caleb would WANT to follow those rules.
- We thank Jesus that He knows exactly what temptation feels like, yet he endured it (for 33 years!) and still remained obedient to the Father.
- We praise Jesus for His obedience and thank him for what it means for us.
I can't claim this idea as my own. I've read far too many books about prayer and the power of God's word. I know it will produce fruit in Caleb's heart. He WILL learn to obey. He WILL be a man of discipline some day.
But for right now, it takes timeouts in cribs and tears and lots and lots of prayer.
Proverbs 13:24
New International Version 1984 (NIV1984)
24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.
(I encourage you to look up "discipline" at biblegateway.com. The word is often used to describe how God disciplines us.)
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