The house is pretty clean. Caleb is still napping. Genevieve is happily playing on the floor. And I want to share a few more thoughts about how God is using our upcoming baby to change my way of thinking...
I like to plan.
I like to know what's going to happen next. I like lists and dreams. I like calendars and schedules. I almost always know exactly what time it is. I'm very aware of times and plans and schedules.
There is nothing wrong with any of these things.
God has plans. He gave us time. He has a schedule and an agenda. He is very purposeful. He has divine appointments with people.
The trouble starts to happen when I value my plan- my agenda, my dreams- over His.
Our 3rd pregnancy is bringing the truth of that into plain sight.
Before we got pregnant, we knew the choices we were making were not 99% accurate that we could not get pregnant. And I liked that. When close friends asked me about having more children, I told them that I wanted to give God more room to work than that. I wanted my heart to be open to His timing.
And He worked. He gave us a baby. And I almost feel like this is a test.
"Ok, Dru-Lynn. You said you were going to trust me if this happened. Are you, really?"
This was not my plan. But it was His. And even though I don't completely understand how everything is going to work, I know He's here. I know He's going to help.
One of the crazy things, to me, is how obsessed our current American culture is with family planning. Think about it. When was the last time you were asked- or you asked someone else- one of these questions:
How many kids are you going to have?
How long are you and your husband going to wait before you have kids?
When do you want your baby to come? Avoid the summer at all costs!
You're done having kids, right?
It's like everyone assumes that everyone else is taking pills religiously or using an IUD until they think it's the "right" time to have a baby. And then, you stop using whatever it was, and you magically become pregnant, exactly when you wanted to.* And you do that each time you want a baby. And when you think you've had enough, your husband has a vasectomy. And every child fits perfectly into your little plan.
I don't like that. I may be a critical part of the life-giving process, but I'm not ultimately the life-giver. It can be very scary trusting Him with all of this, but I know that He is far wiser than me!
Isaiah 55:8
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways," declares the LORD."
*(It works the other way, too, you know... You may plan a baby and God says, not now or not ever. I have friends that have been trying for 3 years to have a baby. Or people that want 3 or 4 and can't have more than 1 or 2- for all kinds of reasons. Then there are the girls that aren't married and yearn for children. All of that requires a great deal of trust, too.)
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Our 17-Week Secret
Happy New Year, dear friends.
I had not realized that I hadn't blogged in over half a year!
No wonder so many of you thought I had fallen off the face of the earth...
I have something that I need to tell you all.
I've been thinking through how I wanted to tell you for several weeks now.
Did I want to be all sentimental or poetic... Did I want to break it to you slow?
I've decided that blunt is best.
We are pregnant.
And not a "little bit" pregnant.
I find out next week if our baby is a boy or a girl.
We are due approx. June 10th.
This is exciting news. (Babies are blessings!)
This is scary news. (I already have 2 babies. And the oldest is 2!)
This is must-trust-God-in-all-things news.
To be completely honest with you, I was shocked, surprised, and scared when we found out.
I didn't want to tell anybody... and I wanted to tell everybody.
I wanted to scream and cry. I couldn't believe it was all happening so fast.
I have so many beautiful friends that supported me along the way.
Carlene- who I told first and just let me pour out my heart. Who said that God was big enough to handle all of my raw emotion.
Sharon- the lactation consultant who graciously listened to all my concerns and told me to keep nursing Genevieve without worry and who reminded me that a new sibling was a precious gift to my children
Natalie- who did this same thing (3 under 3) about 10 years ago and who encouraged me to give myself plenty of grace and plenty of space (for example: napping instead of blogging or being of FB)
Cari- who was SO excited when I told her the news- not shocked, not surprised- but elated. Her response was such an encouragement to me!
And so many others- who have reminded me that God's plan is good- especially when it surprises us.
There have been a few others (I knew there would be- and I was afraid of them...) who made the usual comments: "You need to get cable"..."They have things to prevent that... pills, purple condoms" "You are crazy!!!"
I'm trying to keep myself focused. The task ahead of me is huge. Monumental. Undoable on my own. So thankful that God walks alongside me every step of the way. There may be some times He's going to have to carry me...
One verse that I have always loved, but means so much more to me now is Ephesians 2:10. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
I am God's workmanship. He created my body to create, carry, deliver and nurture babies. Lots of little ones is my good work. He prepared this work for me to do before time began. And I will trust Him.
I had not realized that I hadn't blogged in over half a year!
No wonder so many of you thought I had fallen off the face of the earth...
I have something that I need to tell you all.
I've been thinking through how I wanted to tell you for several weeks now.
Did I want to be all sentimental or poetic... Did I want to break it to you slow?
I've decided that blunt is best.
We are pregnant.
And not a "little bit" pregnant.
I find out next week if our baby is a boy or a girl.
We are due approx. June 10th.
This is exciting news. (Babies are blessings!)
This is scary news. (I already have 2 babies. And the oldest is 2!)
This is must-trust-God-in-all-things news.
To be completely honest with you, I was shocked, surprised, and scared when we found out.
I didn't want to tell anybody... and I wanted to tell everybody.
I wanted to scream and cry. I couldn't believe it was all happening so fast.
I have so many beautiful friends that supported me along the way.
Carlene- who I told first and just let me pour out my heart. Who said that God was big enough to handle all of my raw emotion.
Sharon- the lactation consultant who graciously listened to all my concerns and told me to keep nursing Genevieve without worry and who reminded me that a new sibling was a precious gift to my children
Natalie- who did this same thing (3 under 3) about 10 years ago and who encouraged me to give myself plenty of grace and plenty of space (for example: napping instead of blogging or being of FB)
Cari- who was SO excited when I told her the news- not shocked, not surprised- but elated. Her response was such an encouragement to me!
And so many others- who have reminded me that God's plan is good- especially when it surprises us.
There have been a few others (I knew there would be- and I was afraid of them...) who made the usual comments: "You need to get cable"..."They have things to prevent that... pills, purple condoms" "You are crazy!!!"
I'm trying to keep myself focused. The task ahead of me is huge. Monumental. Undoable on my own. So thankful that God walks alongside me every step of the way. There may be some times He's going to have to carry me...
One verse that I have always loved, but means so much more to me now is Ephesians 2:10. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
I am God's workmanship. He created my body to create, carry, deliver and nurture babies. Lots of little ones is my good work. He prepared this work for me to do before time began. And I will trust Him.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Sacrificing Sleep
One of the things that I learned when Caleb was an infant, was that it was okay to not attend social events because of his schedule. Nap time became nearly sacred. If he didn't rest, then he was grouchy. If I didn't rest, then I was an emotional wreck come dinner time. Nap time was super important. So I protected it, even if it disappointed people. A dear friend told me not to worry about it. "They don't have to live with the consequences," she said, "You and Ross do. So do whatever is best for your family."
And I follow that advice. Sorry, but if you want to meet up with me, it needs to be in the morning. You are welcome to come to our home anytime, but if it's around 2 pm, no one's going to be awake : )
The past week, though, has been full of important once-in-a-lifetime events. Weddings, graduations, out-of-town guests. (I pray visiting with them happens again in this lifetime : ) it just only happens every few years...)
So I sacrificed precious sleep to be with people during the special moments in their lives.
And it was good.
And it was exhausting.
But we've mostly recovered : )
So I haven't been blogging because I've been running around the valley. (Almost literally. I've been from El Mirage to Gilbert... I drove though, I didn't run : ) )
But it's been a good lesson for my heart.
Saying no to people can be hard- but it's a good lesson in not fearing man.
Saying yes to people can be hard- but it's a good lesson in flexibility and trusting that the LORD is going to honor my sacrifice of sleep and give me the strength to make it through.
I'm happy to announce that He did just that : )
P.S. I have some cool opportunities to give the gospel messages at VBS this year and to co-lead a girls' bible study through Ruth. I'll blog when I can, but I have lots of lesson planning to do!!
And I follow that advice. Sorry, but if you want to meet up with me, it needs to be in the morning. You are welcome to come to our home anytime, but if it's around 2 pm, no one's going to be awake : )
The past week, though, has been full of important once-in-a-lifetime events. Weddings, graduations, out-of-town guests. (I pray visiting with them happens again in this lifetime : ) it just only happens every few years...)
So I sacrificed precious sleep to be with people during the special moments in their lives.
And it was good.
And it was exhausting.
But we've mostly recovered : )
So I haven't been blogging because I've been running around the valley. (Almost literally. I've been from El Mirage to Gilbert... I drove though, I didn't run : ) )
But it's been a good lesson for my heart.
Saying no to people can be hard- but it's a good lesson in not fearing man.
Saying yes to people can be hard- but it's a good lesson in flexibility and trusting that the LORD is going to honor my sacrifice of sleep and give me the strength to make it through.
I'm happy to announce that He did just that : )
P.S. I have some cool opportunities to give the gospel messages at VBS this year and to co-lead a girls' bible study through Ruth. I'll blog when I can, but I have lots of lesson planning to do!!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
A Truth About Marriage: Part Three
Truth #3: Don't forget who you are fighting for and who you are fighting against.
So as God perfects us to be more like His Son (Truth #1) and as He uses hard things to bind ourselves together (Truth #2) He brings glory to Himself. Lots of glory.
People look at strong Christian marriages and they ask questions. How come she doesn't nag you all the time? (Because God is developing patience in her heart.) Why is it so easy to get your husband to commit to a local church? (Because God is building him up to be the spiritual leader in our home.) When you two disagree, you do it so respectfully. How do you manage that? ( God is teaching us to honor one another and to cultivate peace in our home.)
I could go on and on with examples. When two people who love the LORD honor him and each other through marriage, it sets an example of the gospel- and people notice it. Most see it as a beautiful thing. The LORD certainly does. It brings Him much joy.
But there is one person who hates it very, very much. Can you guess who?
Satan.
The last thing he wants is for God to receive glory and for the gospel to be honored. So he fights hard against it. He lies to us. He discourages us. He sends more challenging trials our way. He keeps pointing out our spouse's faults.
And if we are not careful, we can start listening to him. And sometimes, we can start to believe that the man that God made us one with, is our enemy. This leads to all kinds of trouble... anger, strife, all kinds of fighting. We are fighting the wrong person!
We must not let this happen. We must know Satan's schemes and have plans to defeat them. He only has a few tactics, but I'm sure he uses certain ones on certain people.
He loves to tell me that Ross really doesn't love me. Because if Ross really did love me... he'd say it more. And when he did say it, he'd say it more passionately. And he'd be more romantic. And...
And I just have to tell Satan to shut up.
But if I don't do it fast enough, I start questioning Ross and feeling disappointed and hurt about A BUNCH OF LIES!!
And how do we defeat Satan's lies? With the truth. The truth about our husbands- but most importantly- the truth about our Savior. We ask Jesus for help. We ask Him to guard our hearts against the lies.
I've done that several times. Satan's favorite time to lie to me is late at night when Ross has just fallen asleep. (If he really loved me, he wouldn't fall asleep while I was talking to him... SHUT UP!!) Sometimes, I'm just too tired to fight, and I just ask Jesus to fight off Satan for me. "Please guard my heart. Stand in the gap and fight for me, please!" And He does. And my heart is filled with peace and I can go to sleep.
When I shared all of this with Marisa- the bride-to-be, I encouraged her to pray, pray, pray for her marriage, for her husband, and for her heart. To pray the truth of Scripture over them. The word of the LORD sends Satan running. Here are the Scriptures we prayed for her. I encourage you to pray them over your marriage as well.
Proverbs 5:15-18- Pray for sexual faithfulness and satisfaction within your marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-24- Pray that the wife would have a submissive heart.
Ephesians 5: 25-27- Pray that the husband would be loving and a spiritual leader in the home.
Psalm 127: 3-5- Pray for the blessing of children!
Titus 2:4-5-Pray for older women mentors and for a heart that loves their husband and children, that's self-controlled, pure, busy at home, kind and submissive.
So start fighting the good fight- against Satan- with your husband- not against him!
So as God perfects us to be more like His Son (Truth #1) and as He uses hard things to bind ourselves together (Truth #2) He brings glory to Himself. Lots of glory.
People look at strong Christian marriages and they ask questions. How come she doesn't nag you all the time? (Because God is developing patience in her heart.) Why is it so easy to get your husband to commit to a local church? (Because God is building him up to be the spiritual leader in our home.) When you two disagree, you do it so respectfully. How do you manage that? ( God is teaching us to honor one another and to cultivate peace in our home.)
I could go on and on with examples. When two people who love the LORD honor him and each other through marriage, it sets an example of the gospel- and people notice it. Most see it as a beautiful thing. The LORD certainly does. It brings Him much joy.
But there is one person who hates it very, very much. Can you guess who?
Satan.
The last thing he wants is for God to receive glory and for the gospel to be honored. So he fights hard against it. He lies to us. He discourages us. He sends more challenging trials our way. He keeps pointing out our spouse's faults.
And if we are not careful, we can start listening to him. And sometimes, we can start to believe that the man that God made us one with, is our enemy. This leads to all kinds of trouble... anger, strife, all kinds of fighting. We are fighting the wrong person!
We must not let this happen. We must know Satan's schemes and have plans to defeat them. He only has a few tactics, but I'm sure he uses certain ones on certain people.
He loves to tell me that Ross really doesn't love me. Because if Ross really did love me... he'd say it more. And when he did say it, he'd say it more passionately. And he'd be more romantic. And...
And I just have to tell Satan to shut up.
But if I don't do it fast enough, I start questioning Ross and feeling disappointed and hurt about A BUNCH OF LIES!!
And how do we defeat Satan's lies? With the truth. The truth about our husbands- but most importantly- the truth about our Savior. We ask Jesus for help. We ask Him to guard our hearts against the lies.
I've done that several times. Satan's favorite time to lie to me is late at night when Ross has just fallen asleep. (If he really loved me, he wouldn't fall asleep while I was talking to him... SHUT UP!!) Sometimes, I'm just too tired to fight, and I just ask Jesus to fight off Satan for me. "Please guard my heart. Stand in the gap and fight for me, please!" And He does. And my heart is filled with peace and I can go to sleep.
When I shared all of this with Marisa- the bride-to-be, I encouraged her to pray, pray, pray for her marriage, for her husband, and for her heart. To pray the truth of Scripture over them. The word of the LORD sends Satan running. Here are the Scriptures we prayed for her. I encourage you to pray them over your marriage as well.
Proverbs 5:15-18- Pray for sexual faithfulness and satisfaction within your marriage.
Ephesians 5:22-24- Pray that the wife would have a submissive heart.
Ephesians 5: 25-27- Pray that the husband would be loving and a spiritual leader in the home.
Psalm 127: 3-5- Pray for the blessing of children!
Titus 2:4-5-Pray for older women mentors and for a heart that loves their husband and children, that's self-controlled, pure, busy at home, kind and submissive.
So start fighting the good fight- against Satan- with your husband- not against him!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Summer Cookin'
Here's the menu tonight at our house:
Skilled-cooked boneless pork chops (they're on sale at Sprouts for $2/lb!!)
Homemade rice pilaf (a million times tastier than a box... and really not much more trouble.)
Steamed broccoli (for good health : ) )
And while that sounds and smells delicious... my thermometer is reading 102 degrees outside and 84 in.
Summer cooking in Arizona can be so... very... sweaty. (Ick!)
So here's my question for you:
What yummy dinners do you like to prepare in the summer that require very little heat?
One of our favorites is chicken salad sandwiches (I am blessed to have a husband that likes "girl food").
As I wipe my brow, I'm wondering why I'm not making it tonight. Oh, well, perhaps next Tuesday??
Skilled-cooked boneless pork chops (they're on sale at Sprouts for $2/lb!!)
Homemade rice pilaf (a million times tastier than a box... and really not much more trouble.)
Steamed broccoli (for good health : ) )
And while that sounds and smells delicious... my thermometer is reading 102 degrees outside and 84 in.
Summer cooking in Arizona can be so... very... sweaty. (Ick!)
So here's my question for you:
What yummy dinners do you like to prepare in the summer that require very little heat?
One of our favorites is chicken salad sandwiches (I am blessed to have a husband that likes "girl food").
As I wipe my brow, I'm wondering why I'm not making it tonight. Oh, well, perhaps next Tuesday??
A Truth About Marriage: Part Two
Truth #2: God is working to make you and your husband one. He does this in weird ways...
On our wedding day, when we promise before God and a bunch of people, that we will love our spouses always and be faithful to them, God immediately makes our hearts one. So oneness is an immediate state- but also a perpetually growing state. It's a lifelong process.
We'd like to think that the things that develop intimacy between man and wife are fun things. Sometimes they are. Ross and I have ongoing conversations about things that are important to us. If you were to jump into one of them, you might be lost- because we've already spent hours and hours thinking through things together. Physical intimacy is a fun thing to develop. Ross knows my body like no one else does. And all of that discovering was always super fun, right?
Or did some of that intimacy- that oneness- come from not-so-fun endeavors? Every couple has some experiences where someone felt pain or disappointment. Someone may end up crying or blushing. That's when true intimacy happens.
And a lot of intimacy happens outside the bedroom- in similar, not-so-perfect circumstances. Sure, oneness comes as you celebrate a promotion together- but it comes way faster when someone faces unemployment. Common friendships bond hearts- but the loss of a common friend can create a permanent tie.
I can think of three couples, off the top of my head, who have lost children at very young ages. Praise God that both spouses knew the LORD and trusted Him. While such a situation in a non-Christian marriage, almost always leads to divorce- these couples know an intimacy that the rest of us lack. And that precious intimacy came from a horrible, tragic, heartbreaking event.
And that's how our good God works!
Satan sneaks in, ready to steal, kill and destroy and God says, "Thank you very much. I will take this awful thing, use it to bind their hearts together and bring much glory to myself."
Remember this the next time something hard happens. When you and your husband are pulling your hair out trying to discipline your children. When money is too tight for a night out alone. When you find out one of you is terminally ill.
Don't run away from those trials. Hold hands tight and run to Jesus together. Then be on the look-out for the intimacy He develops in your hearts. He will do it. For your good and for His glory.
On our wedding day, when we promise before God and a bunch of people, that we will love our spouses always and be faithful to them, God immediately makes our hearts one. So oneness is an immediate state- but also a perpetually growing state. It's a lifelong process.
We'd like to think that the things that develop intimacy between man and wife are fun things. Sometimes they are. Ross and I have ongoing conversations about things that are important to us. If you were to jump into one of them, you might be lost- because we've already spent hours and hours thinking through things together. Physical intimacy is a fun thing to develop. Ross knows my body like no one else does. And all of that discovering was always super fun, right?
Or did some of that intimacy- that oneness- come from not-so-fun endeavors? Every couple has some experiences where someone felt pain or disappointment. Someone may end up crying or blushing. That's when true intimacy happens.
And a lot of intimacy happens outside the bedroom- in similar, not-so-perfect circumstances. Sure, oneness comes as you celebrate a promotion together- but it comes way faster when someone faces unemployment. Common friendships bond hearts- but the loss of a common friend can create a permanent tie.
I can think of three couples, off the top of my head, who have lost children at very young ages. Praise God that both spouses knew the LORD and trusted Him. While such a situation in a non-Christian marriage, almost always leads to divorce- these couples know an intimacy that the rest of us lack. And that precious intimacy came from a horrible, tragic, heartbreaking event.
And that's how our good God works!
Satan sneaks in, ready to steal, kill and destroy and God says, "Thank you very much. I will take this awful thing, use it to bind their hearts together and bring much glory to myself."
Remember this the next time something hard happens. When you and your husband are pulling your hair out trying to discipline your children. When money is too tight for a night out alone. When you find out one of you is terminally ill.
Don't run away from those trials. Hold hands tight and run to Jesus together. Then be on the look-out for the intimacy He develops in your hearts. He will do it. For your good and for His glory.
Monday, May 21, 2012
A Truth About Marriage: Part One
At last week's bridal shower, I had the opportunity to share 3 truths with the bride. I told her that I was so glad that I had that opportunity- because I needed to remind myself of a few things as well!
Isn't it so easy, when you are married, to fall into lies and discouragement? I hope this post (and the two to follow, hopefully :) ) will bring hope to your heart!
Truth #1: God did not create marriage primarily for our happiness, but our holiness.
Satan lies to us from several angles in this regard. When we are little girls, we hear fairy tales where Prince Charming comes, marries the girl and they live (say it with me now...) "Happily Ever After!" When we're older- a small part of our heart is convinced that if we could just get a man to commit to us... we'd be happier.
Yet, at the same time, Satan's telling men that marriage will weigh them down. That it won't be any fun. Girls are sitting around waiting for marriage so their happy life can start. Men drag their feet, because they're convinced as soon as they do, their happy life will end.
But the truth, my friends, is that marriage IS a happy establishment. God saw that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone. Life in the perfect garden with the perfect God- was still a little lonely. God gave Eve to Adam as a gift- a gift of happiness.
I told Marisa last week that marriage is full of happy moments. If you are married, take a minute to think of them. The joy of your wedding day. The sweetness of late night conversations. The moments when you know what each other is thinking. The simple pleasure of a quiet dinner together. The exhilaration of love making. The excitement of delivering a baby together. Marriage is a happy thing.
Sometimes.
While God did mean for marriage to be a glorious, happy institution- that's not all He is concerned with. Mature Christians know this full well- my happiness is not his top priority.
He is, however, extremely concerned with my sanctification. Am I becoming more like His son Christ Jesus? Am I producing fruit? These questions are in the forefront of His mind.
And marriage is the perfect institution to develop character and fruit.
If you are married, take a minute to think of the last time you had to be loving towards your selfish husband, or joyful while doing what he wanted to do, or peaceful when you just wanted to scream, or patient when he wasn't doing things your way, or kind when he had just hurt your feelings, or good when you wanted to be bad, or gentle when harsh words filled your mind, or faithful when surely it would be more fun to be married to anybody else or self-controlled when you wanted to explode in anger.
These are some pretty vivid examples, but I'm sure you're nodding your head at at-least one of them. (I'm working hard on the patience one...)
Now take a minute to think of what you would have been nodding your head to when you were first married. Are things any different now? Has your character been developed? Even just a little more patient, or kind or loving or gentle?
See. God knew what He was doing. Isn't He good? He's at work. Rejoice as He perfects you. Character is developed in lots of different ways- in lots of different situations. Christians grow through trials and persecutions. While walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
I'm thankful that I can grow a little bit, each day, as I hold hands with my best friend. And I'm thankful God is at work perfecting him, too... as he deals with sinful little me!
Isn't it so easy, when you are married, to fall into lies and discouragement? I hope this post (and the two to follow, hopefully :) ) will bring hope to your heart!
Truth #1: God did not create marriage primarily for our happiness, but our holiness.
Satan lies to us from several angles in this regard. When we are little girls, we hear fairy tales where Prince Charming comes, marries the girl and they live (say it with me now...) "Happily Ever After!" When we're older- a small part of our heart is convinced that if we could just get a man to commit to us... we'd be happier.
Yet, at the same time, Satan's telling men that marriage will weigh them down. That it won't be any fun. Girls are sitting around waiting for marriage so their happy life can start. Men drag their feet, because they're convinced as soon as they do, their happy life will end.
But the truth, my friends, is that marriage IS a happy establishment. God saw that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone. Life in the perfect garden with the perfect God- was still a little lonely. God gave Eve to Adam as a gift- a gift of happiness.
I told Marisa last week that marriage is full of happy moments. If you are married, take a minute to think of them. The joy of your wedding day. The sweetness of late night conversations. The moments when you know what each other is thinking. The simple pleasure of a quiet dinner together. The exhilaration of love making. The excitement of delivering a baby together. Marriage is a happy thing.
Sometimes.
While God did mean for marriage to be a glorious, happy institution- that's not all He is concerned with. Mature Christians know this full well- my happiness is not his top priority.
He is, however, extremely concerned with my sanctification. Am I becoming more like His son Christ Jesus? Am I producing fruit? These questions are in the forefront of His mind.
And marriage is the perfect institution to develop character and fruit.
If you are married, take a minute to think of the last time you had to be loving towards your selfish husband, or joyful while doing what he wanted to do, or peaceful when you just wanted to scream, or patient when he wasn't doing things your way, or kind when he had just hurt your feelings, or good when you wanted to be bad, or gentle when harsh words filled your mind, or faithful when surely it would be more fun to be married to anybody else or self-controlled when you wanted to explode in anger.
These are some pretty vivid examples, but I'm sure you're nodding your head at at-least one of them. (I'm working hard on the patience one...)
Now take a minute to think of what you would have been nodding your head to when you were first married. Are things any different now? Has your character been developed? Even just a little more patient, or kind or loving or gentle?
See. God knew what He was doing. Isn't He good? He's at work. Rejoice as He perfects you. Character is developed in lots of different ways- in lots of different situations. Christians grow through trials and persecutions. While walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
I'm thankful that I can grow a little bit, each day, as I hold hands with my best friend. And I'm thankful God is at work perfecting him, too... as he deals with sinful little me!
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Overflowing Truth
I love what happens when you saturate your heart with the truth- when you pour it into your mind and soul. It just kinda spills out unexpectedly.
This morning, I was writing in a graduation card for one of our highschool students. I wanted to encourage her to trust in the LORD always. I learned that hard and fast during my college years and I wanted her to know that He is fully trustworthy.
So I put my pen to the paper and these words flowed out:
He knows you best
And loves you most
And all His ways are good.
I hope she clings to those truths found in Psalm 139, John 3:16 and Jeremiah 29:11.
I hope you have a chance to meditate on them today.
I'm so glad that they are ingrained so deep in my heart that they just flow out : )
This morning, I was writing in a graduation card for one of our highschool students. I wanted to encourage her to trust in the LORD always. I learned that hard and fast during my college years and I wanted her to know that He is fully trustworthy.
So I put my pen to the paper and these words flowed out:
He knows you best
And loves you most
And all His ways are good.
I hope she clings to those truths found in Psalm 139, John 3:16 and Jeremiah 29:11.
I hope you have a chance to meditate on them today.
I'm so glad that they are ingrained so deep in my heart that they just flow out : )
Friday, May 18, 2012
Please Clean My... Heart
Thanks so much for commenting yesterday! It was fun to read your tips on keeping your house in order. And it was interesting to see how at different stages in family life, cleaning looks different. I eagerly await the day when the little hands around here can help- and when I can clean while they sleep. (Right now- it's all about sleeping when they're sleeping!!)
I'm glad the mommies who work full-time commented, too. It's wonderful that you can hire someone to help or simply accept the fact that the house is going to be a little messy during this stage.
All of this reminded me that I forgot to mention the most important part:
Aren't you glad God is more concerned with the condition of our hearts than the condition of our homes??
He's looking for hearts that love Him above all else.
He's looking for hearts that happily help their husbands.
He's looking for hearts that are submissive to His will.
He's looking for hearts that sacrificially love the children that He has given them.
He's looking for hearts that eagerly open their home and share their resources.
So the physical things we do are important. Our families should be able to walk around our homes without fear of tripping over a million things. We should be able to prepare food in a relatively sanitary kitchen. We should be able to wear non-smelly clothes : )
But in the end, God is not looking at how clean, or unclean, our homes are. He's looking at how clean, or unclean, our hearts are. And He's the only one who can scrub those clean.
He's really great at it, too. You simply have to ask him : )
I'm glad the mommies who work full-time commented, too. It's wonderful that you can hire someone to help or simply accept the fact that the house is going to be a little messy during this stage.
All of this reminded me that I forgot to mention the most important part:
Aren't you glad God is more concerned with the condition of our hearts than the condition of our homes??
He's looking for hearts that love Him above all else.
He's looking for hearts that happily help their husbands.
He's looking for hearts that are submissive to His will.
He's looking for hearts that sacrificially love the children that He has given them.
He's looking for hearts that eagerly open their home and share their resources.
So the physical things we do are important. Our families should be able to walk around our homes without fear of tripping over a million things. We should be able to prepare food in a relatively sanitary kitchen. We should be able to wear non-smelly clothes : )
But in the end, God is not looking at how clean, or unclean, our homes are. He's looking at how clean, or unclean, our hearts are. And He's the only one who can scrub those clean.
He's really great at it, too. You simply have to ask him : )
Psalm 51[a]
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
My Busy Day
Sometimes I wonder if you all wonder if I actually do what I say I want to do - if I really follow through with things. Today, I did. I want to share that joy with you and also ask you for some input : )
Today was my "busy at home" day. It was actually quite productive. Which is surprising with a 20-month-old and a 7-week-old. There have been many days when I've wanted to be productive and all that's been done is mess-making and hair-pulling-out-ing...
But today was good. I was able to focus. Caleb was content playing alongside my working. And I figured out a system with Genevieve that worked well.
So I am pleased- knowing that a day this productive doesn't come along very often.
Now I have questions for you. Think back to one of your most productive "busy at home" days.
What made it so productive?
Do you tackle everything in one day or do you spread it out?
If you spread things out- what does that look like?
How do you fit in cleaning and organizing with everyday activities?
How do you keep your kids (or husband or whomever...) from immediately undoing what you just did?
Or... if that is impossible- how do you guard your heart from discouragement when that happens?
I want to hear from you! And I want you to be able to share your tips and learn from others.
My day was most productive for 2 reasons.
1) All I had on the agenda today was to clean. No plans to go anywhere or see anybody. I didn't even talk on the phone or open the computer till noon. That's how I stay focused. Getting started right away and not interrupting myself!
2) The Moby wrap. It's a large piece of fabric that you wrap around yourself and then you are able to "wear" your baby. It kept Genevieve happy, close and safe from her big brother. : ) It also gave me a little more of a workout while cleaning. I'm all about multitasking.
So... how do you make it work? : )
Today was my "busy at home" day. It was actually quite productive. Which is surprising with a 20-month-old and a 7-week-old. There have been many days when I've wanted to be productive and all that's been done is mess-making and hair-pulling-out-ing...
But today was good. I was able to focus. Caleb was content playing alongside my working. And I figured out a system with Genevieve that worked well.
So I am pleased- knowing that a day this productive doesn't come along very often.
Now I have questions for you. Think back to one of your most productive "busy at home" days.
What made it so productive?
Do you tackle everything in one day or do you spread it out?
If you spread things out- what does that look like?
How do you fit in cleaning and organizing with everyday activities?
How do you keep your kids (or husband or whomever...) from immediately undoing what you just did?
Or... if that is impossible- how do you guard your heart from discouragement when that happens?
I want to hear from you! And I want you to be able to share your tips and learn from others.
My day was most productive for 2 reasons.
1) All I had on the agenda today was to clean. No plans to go anywhere or see anybody. I didn't even talk on the phone or open the computer till noon. That's how I stay focused. Getting started right away and not interrupting myself!
2) The Moby wrap. It's a large piece of fabric that you wrap around yourself and then you are able to "wear" your baby. It kept Genevieve happy, close and safe from her big brother. : ) It also gave me a little more of a workout while cleaning. I'm all about multitasking.
So... how do you make it work? : )
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Shower Rules
Growing up, I always attended bridal and baby showers with my family. They thought it was important that I learn how to behave myself at such lady-like functions. I always enjoyed myself (what fun to think of getting married and having babies some day!) and always asked plenty of questions (why did somebody give Aunt Kim pajamas that looked like a silky bikini?)
Through all these experiences, I learned that there are some "rules" about showers. Here are just a few:
1) Showers are about presents. That's the point. If you aren't going to bring a present, don't come.
2) You only invite people to showers if they are invited to the wedding. To get a shower invite without a wedding invite is rude.
3) You only get one baby shower. Doesn't matter how many babies you have. Maybe, just maybe you'll have a second one if your second baby is a different kind than your first baby. Maybe.
4) If the host has lots of money, she'll feed you lunch and cake. Just a little money? Just cake. But there will always, always be cake.
5) It can not be a quick affair. Plan on at least 2 hours. If you stay at least 2 hours, you've been polite and you can leave- but don't be surprised if it eats up an entire afteroon.
I helped host a bridal shower last night for a sweet young girl at church. We broke several of the rules just mentioned. (We invited EVERY woman in the congregation!) And we had a fabulous time. So here's an updated list : )
1) Showers are about blessings. You can bless with physical gifts, for sure. But blessings of prayer, support and encouragement are far more important. While they are not "free" they don't cost a penny. (A note about physical gifts- group gifts are "IN!" So give $5 to the host, if that's all you can afford to go towards that vacuum cleaner or double stroller. Don't not come just because you can't spend $50.)
2) People can't afford to invite everyone they know to their wedding. Your husband doesn't want to go to everybody's wedding anyway : ) This rule is silly. Be generous and loving at every opportunity.
3) If it's all about blessings and not all about presents- then why not have a baby shower for every baby? (Hopefully you have a wedding shower for every wedding- and that should be only one :) ) It's good to be prayed over for every child. Besides, kids are messy and hard on things. Every mom could use a few new outfits and a new changing pad, too.
4) Rule number 3 means there will be more showers given and rule number 2 means there will be more invited. So don't judge the host. She's just trying to love on a sweet friend. Ask if you can bring an appetizer to share. And enjoy your piece of cake : )
5) People are busy. They have families and homes to care for. So bless. Bless well. Bless quickly. A game if you must, some time for encouragement and prayer, gifts, then a time of fellowship at the end for women who can stay- a time to escape for women who must go. No need to take up a whole afternoon or.... what about giving a shower in the evening??
I've told you the rules have changed- surely, for the better : )
Through all these experiences, I learned that there are some "rules" about showers. Here are just a few:
1) Showers are about presents. That's the point. If you aren't going to bring a present, don't come.
2) You only invite people to showers if they are invited to the wedding. To get a shower invite without a wedding invite is rude.
3) You only get one baby shower. Doesn't matter how many babies you have. Maybe, just maybe you'll have a second one if your second baby is a different kind than your first baby. Maybe.
4) If the host has lots of money, she'll feed you lunch and cake. Just a little money? Just cake. But there will always, always be cake.
5) It can not be a quick affair. Plan on at least 2 hours. If you stay at least 2 hours, you've been polite and you can leave- but don't be surprised if it eats up an entire afteroon.
I helped host a bridal shower last night for a sweet young girl at church. We broke several of the rules just mentioned. (We invited EVERY woman in the congregation!) And we had a fabulous time. So here's an updated list : )
1) Showers are about blessings. You can bless with physical gifts, for sure. But blessings of prayer, support and encouragement are far more important. While they are not "free" they don't cost a penny. (A note about physical gifts- group gifts are "IN!" So give $5 to the host, if that's all you can afford to go towards that vacuum cleaner or double stroller. Don't not come just because you can't spend $50.)
2) People can't afford to invite everyone they know to their wedding. Your husband doesn't want to go to everybody's wedding anyway : ) This rule is silly. Be generous and loving at every opportunity.
3) If it's all about blessings and not all about presents- then why not have a baby shower for every baby? (Hopefully you have a wedding shower for every wedding- and that should be only one :) ) It's good to be prayed over for every child. Besides, kids are messy and hard on things. Every mom could use a few new outfits and a new changing pad, too.
4) Rule number 3 means there will be more showers given and rule number 2 means there will be more invited. So don't judge the host. She's just trying to love on a sweet friend. Ask if you can bring an appetizer to share. And enjoy your piece of cake : )
5) People are busy. They have families and homes to care for. So bless. Bless well. Bless quickly. A game if you must, some time for encouragement and prayer, gifts, then a time of fellowship at the end for women who can stay- a time to escape for women who must go. No need to take up a whole afternoon or.... what about giving a shower in the evening??
I've told you the rules have changed- surely, for the better : )
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I'm His Genevieve
When you do something as crazy as having a baby at home, on accident... you're bound to get a bit of criticism.
"What were you thinking?"
"Didn't you know you were in labor?"
"Next time... you should go to the hospital 3 weeks early!"
At 7 weeks postpartum, I can handle the flack pretty well.
At 2 days postpartum, though, I was blessed with the fact that no one was questioning what I had done.
The 911 operator didn't scold me.
Not one firefighter shamed me.
None of the nurses at the hospital reprimanded me.
The midwife, with eyes wide and bright, simply wanted to hear my story.
No one questioned me- and that was good. Because the last thing that a new mom needs to hear is that she just did something wrong.
Just one person, a few hours postpartum, showed disapproval of what I had done:
My dad.
"Drusie, didn't we tell you that the 2nd one comes faster? Baby, why didn't you go to the hospital?"
At first, I was hurt by these comments. Didn't he know that this was the coolest thing I had ever done? We were okay. Nobody was hurt. In all actuality, it was fun!
And then I realized it:
I'm his Genevieve.
I'm his baby girl, trying to act like a grown-up. Never mind that everything turned out fine and it was a good story. Just the thought- the slightest thought-of something happening to his baby girl- was unbearable.
There's something so precious about having a baby girl. It's different than having a boy. I want Caleb to be strong and manly. I want him to be brave and fight for what's right. But Genevieve is like a flower. Please admire. Please handle with care. Don't you dare hurt my baby girl.
So glad I have a Genevieve.
So glad I'm somebody's Genevieve.
"What were you thinking?"
"Didn't you know you were in labor?"
"Next time... you should go to the hospital 3 weeks early!"
At 7 weeks postpartum, I can handle the flack pretty well.
At 2 days postpartum, though, I was blessed with the fact that no one was questioning what I had done.
The 911 operator didn't scold me.
Not one firefighter shamed me.
None of the nurses at the hospital reprimanded me.
The midwife, with eyes wide and bright, simply wanted to hear my story.
No one questioned me- and that was good. Because the last thing that a new mom needs to hear is that she just did something wrong.
Just one person, a few hours postpartum, showed disapproval of what I had done:
My dad.
"Drusie, didn't we tell you that the 2nd one comes faster? Baby, why didn't you go to the hospital?"
At first, I was hurt by these comments. Didn't he know that this was the coolest thing I had ever done? We were okay. Nobody was hurt. In all actuality, it was fun!
And then I realized it:
I'm his Genevieve.
I'm his baby girl, trying to act like a grown-up. Never mind that everything turned out fine and it was a good story. Just the thought- the slightest thought-of something happening to his baby girl- was unbearable.
There's something so precious about having a baby girl. It's different than having a boy. I want Caleb to be strong and manly. I want him to be brave and fight for what's right. But Genevieve is like a flower. Please admire. Please handle with care. Don't you dare hurt my baby girl.
So glad I have a Genevieve.
So glad I'm somebody's Genevieve.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Bringing My Heart Home
When Ross and I were first married, I LOVED the idea of being a homemaker. Ross had lived in a house for four years- so I had a real home to decorate and care for. I loved it. I spent that first summer and my last semester of college gladly cooking, cleaning and decorating. It was fun.
Then, I student taught and started teaching school. I came home so very tired. I would cook- and that was about it. Cleaning happened, but only when someone was coming to dinner : ) Decorating stopped almost completely.
Then Caleb came. And I was home... constantly. And I really wanted to be anywhere but home. It suddenly was so boring and mundane. Although I was home constantly... caring for him was so overwhelming... again, cooking would happen, but little else. Cleaning and caring for our home seemed like such a huge task. And a very not-fun-one at that.
One afternoon, Caleb was sleeping in my arms and I was reading Feminine Appeal-a book we have a love-hate relationship with... (I love it, many of you hate it... we can still all be friends : ) ) The book is an expostion of Titus 2. I was reading the chapter on "being busy at home."
I don't know if you know it or not, but in Titus (which is in the Bible :)) women are COMMANDED to be busy at home. That's so counter-cultural, you know? Society drives us to be busy everywhere- work, school, shopping, even church- everywhere except home. Yet, God, in all of His wisdom, tells us to get busy in the simplest place.
The chapter I was reading encouraged me to change my outlook on housework and homemaking. Stop looking at it as mundane and boring. Stop thinking it's too much. Start loving your husband and your children and honoring your God in the simplest place. Love the LORD your God by doing the dishes.
I know what I just wrote is so not politically correct. But it's biblical. : )
Now let's fast forward 18 months....
Caleb and Genevieve and I were very busy this morning- we were out and about with my mom. First, the social security office (oh, the joys...) then Target, then lunch and some frozen yogurt (yum!). A few moments ago, I was sitting on the couch, going over the rest of the week in my head. Genevieve is getting her pictures taken this week. We have a few social engagements. Now, when am I going to mop the kitchen floor?
That thought made me smile so big! God is doing a good work in my heart! The thought of mopping the kitchen floor- a year and a half ago- would have made me want to puke. Now, it's a reasonable thought. It's a task that needs to be done. A task that honors my husband and my God. I need to set aside time to do it : )
Thanks, God, for stirring my heart towards things of you. Thanks for bringing my heart home : )
Then, I student taught and started teaching school. I came home so very tired. I would cook- and that was about it. Cleaning happened, but only when someone was coming to dinner : ) Decorating stopped almost completely.
Then Caleb came. And I was home... constantly. And I really wanted to be anywhere but home. It suddenly was so boring and mundane. Although I was home constantly... caring for him was so overwhelming... again, cooking would happen, but little else. Cleaning and caring for our home seemed like such a huge task. And a very not-fun-one at that.
One afternoon, Caleb was sleeping in my arms and I was reading Feminine Appeal-a book we have a love-hate relationship with... (I love it, many of you hate it... we can still all be friends : ) ) The book is an expostion of Titus 2. I was reading the chapter on "being busy at home."
I don't know if you know it or not, but in Titus (which is in the Bible :)) women are COMMANDED to be busy at home. That's so counter-cultural, you know? Society drives us to be busy everywhere- work, school, shopping, even church- everywhere except home. Yet, God, in all of His wisdom, tells us to get busy in the simplest place.
The chapter I was reading encouraged me to change my outlook on housework and homemaking. Stop looking at it as mundane and boring. Stop thinking it's too much. Start loving your husband and your children and honoring your God in the simplest place. Love the LORD your God by doing the dishes.
I know what I just wrote is so not politically correct. But it's biblical. : )
Now let's fast forward 18 months....
Caleb and Genevieve and I were very busy this morning- we were out and about with my mom. First, the social security office (oh, the joys...) then Target, then lunch and some frozen yogurt (yum!). A few moments ago, I was sitting on the couch, going over the rest of the week in my head. Genevieve is getting her pictures taken this week. We have a few social engagements. Now, when am I going to mop the kitchen floor?
That thought made me smile so big! God is doing a good work in my heart! The thought of mopping the kitchen floor- a year and a half ago- would have made me want to puke. Now, it's a reasonable thought. It's a task that needs to be done. A task that honors my husband and my God. I need to set aside time to do it : )
Thanks, God, for stirring my heart towards things of you. Thanks for bringing my heart home : )
Monday, April 16, 2012
The Simple Life
I haven't blogged in over a week! I'm sure you can imagine that life around here is kinda busy. It often feels like I feed one, then change another. Then feed the second one and change the other. Then I eat something, then it's time for the baby to be fed again... Both babies will nap at the same time in the afternoon (thank God!!) so I nap then too. And then we start the process all over again...
I can choose to look at this situation a couple of different ways-
I can choose to look at this situation a couple of different ways-
- I can be negative and think about all the talents God has given me and all the education I have and think that my days should consistent of more than just feedings, diaper changes and naps. This way of thinking is unhelpful, seflish, and inconsistent with the gospel.
- I can be grateful for the simple tasks I have ahead of me. While many others are stressed with responsbilities at school and work and are overwhelmed with the tasks before them, I have such a simple routine. Eat, sleep, change, play.
There were so many days with Caleb that I chose the first way of thinking. And it stole my joy. This season is so short. I know that now.
So today, I'll rejoice in eating and changing. It's not mundane or unimportant. It's simple. It's servanthood. It's sacrifice. It's what God is calling me to do Today. And I will rejoice in it : )
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Early Easter Morning
It's early Easter morning. Really early. Like 3am. Genevieve is hungry. But she won't latch. She's just lying there, screaming at me, as I attempt to feed her. Ross is sitting next to me dozing off. I just want to go back to sleep.
"Please, baby girl. Eat. Mommy wants to go back to sleep."
Then a thought enters my mind. A sweet thought. An encouraging thought. A gospel-centered thought.
"Dru-Lynn, I sacrificed my life for you. You can sacrifice a little bit of sleep for her."
My heart is both convicted and elated at the same time. "Yes, Lord. I will sacrifice a little bit of sleep for her. May it glorify and honor you today as we remember all that you gave up for us."
Amen! Happy Easter to you and yours : )
"Please, baby girl. Eat. Mommy wants to go back to sleep."
Then a thought enters my mind. A sweet thought. An encouraging thought. A gospel-centered thought.
"Dru-Lynn, I sacrificed my life for you. You can sacrifice a little bit of sleep for her."
My heart is both convicted and elated at the same time. "Yes, Lord. I will sacrifice a little bit of sleep for her. May it glorify and honor you today as we remember all that you gave up for us."
Amen! Happy Easter to you and yours : )
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Trip to the ER
Okay, I'm sure the title of this post startled you, so before I get into the details, let's take care of the basic facts:
- Last night, I went to the emergency room. I was admitted, examined by a doctor and discharged all within 2 hours.
- The reason for my visit is, apparently, not that uncommon, even though I had never read anything about it before, nor have I heard anyone talk about it happening to them.
- I am choosing to blog about it because if it ever happens to you- I don't want you to panic, like I did- even though, it's a bit disgusting. Read on at your own risk : )
After you have a baby, your body busily cleans itself out. You basically have a long period which cleans out the lining of your uterus. It starts heavy (really heavy!) and red and then slowly tapers off to pink, then brown, then yellowish.
I had gone through this progression. So I was surprised when I went to the bathroom yesterday afternoon and saw some bright red spots on my pantyliner. I knew that sometimes if you are too active, too soon bleeding can start up again. I told myself that was all it was and that I needed to stop going out of the house. We had planned on going to youth group last night, but I decided that was not a good idea. I called Ross and asked him if we could just stay home and rest. He agreed.
So the four of us (the 4 of us! : ) ) were at home, enjoying dinner and each other's company. At 8pm, I went to use the restroom. When I went to clean myself, I realized that there was something hanging out of me. Very disturbing. It was long, bloody, and flesh-like. It totally freaked me out. I cleaned myself, closed the lid of the toilet, washed my hands and walked out of the bathroom. I told Ross that something scary had happened and I needed to call the midwife. I tried calling her directly and she didn't answer. I then called the after-hours line and left a message. I then waited and waited and waited for someone to call me back. No one ever did.
I have had a really wonderful experience with these midwives. This is, really, the first complaint I have about them...
After waiting around for an hour, and thinking about what was lurking in the toilet, and what else could possibly come out of me, I told Ross, "We need to go to the hospital." "Like, the ER?"he said. "Yes."
"How would that work?" I had been thinking this through in my head for the past hour, so I quickly responded. "We'll call the neighbor and ask her to watch Caleb. Then we'll call your mom to come relieve her. Genevieve comes with us in case she needs to be fed." Ross nodded his head and said okay.
It all worked out like I had imagined and we were in the car in 10 minutes. (Oh yeah. I brought "the specimen" with us.) As we drove down our street, I asked Ross if he could pray and drive at the same time. He nodded and prayed that my body would be well... that if it needed healing that He would do that... Ross prayed that what we were doing was just precautionary.
We walked into the ER together and both stated at the same time that we'd never done this before. We went through the paperwork and triage process. We frowned at the "No children under 12 allowed in patient areas" sign. Would I be seen by a doctor all alone?
As it turns out, Genevieve and Ross could accompany me. Which was wonderful, because there was a LOT of waiting after that. Poor Ross would have worried and poor Genevieve would have starved (not really, but she did get really hungry at one point : ) )
A nurse asked me a bunch of questions. She did not seem too concerned. A doctor came and spoke with me and this was his consensus:
- It's perfectly normal to pass pieces of tissue up to 3 weeks after delivery.
- It looks like I passed a piece of placenta and a part of the bag of waters.
- As long as I am not bleeding heavily, in pain or have a fever, there is nothing to worry about.
The doctor told me that he understood my concern, thought it was wise that I come in to be checked, but that there was really nothing to worry about. I was then discharged.
Honestly, last night's experience was way scarier than delivering Genevieve at home : ) I knew a baby was supposed to come out of me... but not that!
Just in case it ever happens to you- don't panic, but do call your doctor. Hopefully, yours will answer the phone and you won't need to spend $80 to be reassured : )
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
An Attack on Intimacy
Parenthood has the potential to bring great joy and intimacy into Christian marriages. That's part of God's amazing plan. There's something wonderful about seeing the fruit of your two bodies live and grow. Ross has been humbled and encouraged by the way I have let my body come undone for our babies. I have been challenged and strengthened by the way he so preciously and graciously meets the needs of all 3 of us.
Ross was able to take all last week off to be with us. This was a precious time. Ross and I are dear friends, so even though we didn't go anywhere and slept little- it felt like a vacation- like a getaway with your best friend. It was a sweet time.
He went back to work yesterday and I knew that transition was going to be difficult. It was hard when Caleb was born, too. I didn't know HOW it was going to be difficult though...
All of those good things that happened last week, all that tenderness and intimacy- all of that brings glory to God and joy to His heart. He WANTS married couples to be happy together. That's part of the plan. He challenges us to grow through marriage as well, but it's His desire that we be one and that we enjoy that union. God desires those things.
The Enemy despises them.
He's been nagging at my heart lately, but he went full force yesterday. Throughout all last week, he would whisper things in my ear, trying to make me lose my patience with Ross. Trying to make me angry at the man who so willingly sacrifices himself for me. I had been fighting against those emotions pretty well. Until yesterday.
Last night, when Ross was home with us, as we were all eating dinner as a sweet little family, Satan reminded me of ways that Ross had hurt me in the past. Things that had been confessed and forgiven. Things that didn't matter anymore. Things we had agreed to leave behind. The Enemy kept reminding me of them- trying to cause strife and division among us.
I couldn't help it and started crying- for basically, the rest of the evening. Partly because those memories hurt. Mostly because I felt attacked. A lot of it was simply anger. "Leave me ALONE!" I kept quietly screaming in my head.
Poor Ross. The man does nothing but graciously pour himself out for his family, and yet his wife is in emotional distress.
I told you. Satan is downright mean, an insensitive jerk and a gross liar.
This isn't the first time the Enemy has tried to break apart the intimacy in our hearts. It won't be the last. I've found that prayer- out loud, for Ross to hear, has been the best remedy.
So last night, through tears, I prayed that God would guard my heart against Satan's attacks. That while the Enemy whispered lies, that Christ would scream truth. That I would listen to Jesus. That I would cling to my husband and fight for our marriage, and not give in to fear and discouragement. That I would be oh-so-confident in his love for me.
And I was able to sleep.
My heart is still tender though. Please pray for Ross and me when we come to mind. Pray for joy and intimacy and love. Pray for oneness. Pray for growth through these struggles. Pray for happiness and blessing.
I'll be praying for you and your marriages, too. Perhaps now is a good time for you to reflect on ways in which Satan is trying to divide your hearts. Are you quickly losing patience for your spouse? Are you being reminded of ways he has hurt you? Is it easier for you to see the negative, instead of the positive? Do you spend more time complaining than you do confessing and praying for change?
LORD, marriage is a gift from you. Give us what we need to fight to protect it. Thank you for being with us every step of the way. May you be glorified in our marriages today and every day that follows. Amen!
Ross was able to take all last week off to be with us. This was a precious time. Ross and I are dear friends, so even though we didn't go anywhere and slept little- it felt like a vacation- like a getaway with your best friend. It was a sweet time.
He went back to work yesterday and I knew that transition was going to be difficult. It was hard when Caleb was born, too. I didn't know HOW it was going to be difficult though...
All of those good things that happened last week, all that tenderness and intimacy- all of that brings glory to God and joy to His heart. He WANTS married couples to be happy together. That's part of the plan. He challenges us to grow through marriage as well, but it's His desire that we be one and that we enjoy that union. God desires those things.
The Enemy despises them.
He's been nagging at my heart lately, but he went full force yesterday. Throughout all last week, he would whisper things in my ear, trying to make me lose my patience with Ross. Trying to make me angry at the man who so willingly sacrifices himself for me. I had been fighting against those emotions pretty well. Until yesterday.
Last night, when Ross was home with us, as we were all eating dinner as a sweet little family, Satan reminded me of ways that Ross had hurt me in the past. Things that had been confessed and forgiven. Things that didn't matter anymore. Things we had agreed to leave behind. The Enemy kept reminding me of them- trying to cause strife and division among us.
I couldn't help it and started crying- for basically, the rest of the evening. Partly because those memories hurt. Mostly because I felt attacked. A lot of it was simply anger. "Leave me ALONE!" I kept quietly screaming in my head.
Poor Ross. The man does nothing but graciously pour himself out for his family, and yet his wife is in emotional distress.
I told you. Satan is downright mean, an insensitive jerk and a gross liar.
This isn't the first time the Enemy has tried to break apart the intimacy in our hearts. It won't be the last. I've found that prayer- out loud, for Ross to hear, has been the best remedy.
So last night, through tears, I prayed that God would guard my heart against Satan's attacks. That while the Enemy whispered lies, that Christ would scream truth. That I would listen to Jesus. That I would cling to my husband and fight for our marriage, and not give in to fear and discouragement. That I would be oh-so-confident in his love for me.
And I was able to sleep.
My heart is still tender though. Please pray for Ross and me when we come to mind. Pray for joy and intimacy and love. Pray for oneness. Pray for growth through these struggles. Pray for happiness and blessing.
I'll be praying for you and your marriages, too. Perhaps now is a good time for you to reflect on ways in which Satan is trying to divide your hearts. Are you quickly losing patience for your spouse? Are you being reminded of ways he has hurt you? Is it easier for you to see the negative, instead of the positive? Do you spend more time complaining than you do confessing and praying for change?
LORD, marriage is a gift from you. Give us what we need to fight to protect it. Thank you for being with us every step of the way. May you be glorified in our marriages today and every day that follows. Amen!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
An Encouraging, Timely Message
Heard a wonderful, timely message this morning at Trinity Bible Church from Hebrews 12. All about how God uses suffering to perfect us. God knew my heart needed to hear that!
Here are a few verses worth meditating on:
Hebrews 12: 1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
The sermon was excellent and definitely worth hearing. It hasn't been posted yet (as of 2:45 on 4-1) but if you click HERE, you will be taken to it when it is ready.
May His truth encourage your heart today!
Here are a few verses worth meditating on:
Hebrews 12: 1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
The sermon was excellent and definitely worth hearing. It hasn't been posted yet (as of 2:45 on 4-1) but if you click HERE, you will be taken to it when it is ready.
May His truth encourage your heart today!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Becoming Undone
Postpartum can be a rather painful time- physically. I wasn't ready for this with Caleb. You spend all this time preparing for the birth and all this time thinking about caring for a newborn, and maybe 5 minutes reading about how your body is going to recover. Then you have the baby and everything is uncomfortable.
If you've had a baby- you're nodding your head right now- perhaps vigorously. If you haven't, you may be wondering what I am referring to. I'd love to tell you, but this isn't the appropriate place : ) However, I do encourage you to find a godly woman you can trust to ask about it. Beware of women who have NOTHING good to say- that's not helpful. But someone who can be honest, gentle, and hopeful about what your body goes through as it recovers and learns to breastfeed.
One of the MANY benefits of natural childbirth is that the recovery is easier. Because I had been doing certain exercises, I had no rips, tears or stitches. Because I could feel each contraction, and therefore relax through it, I have no lingering pains in my abdomen or back.
However, nursing has caused me some grief. But thanks to lots of ladies who have encouraged me that it doesn't last forever, I am able to press on and feed my baby the best food for her. And even in 6 days, I've seen lots of improvement.
I read something last night that encouraged my heart in this matter and that I wanted to share with you. It just so happens that this woman's timing is the exact same as mine (2 weeks prior to Easter). These thoughts are helping to keep my heart focused.
From Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic:
"My very kind and wise husband once left a note for me on Easter morning, two weeks after Daphne was born. He wrote, 'To my wife, before she even goes near the closet on Easter morning,' or something romantic like that. In it, he encouraged me to realize that there was no more fitting way to celebrate Easter (or any part of the Christian life) than in a body that has been undone on behalf of another."
I teared up when I read that last night and when I had Ross read it and when I type it now. Jesus' body was brutally undone... for us. I may be sore and tired and rundown. I can complain about all of this- or I can rejoice that I am suffering, in such a small way, like Christ did.
Thanks, Jesus- for becoming undone on behalf of me. May I see my own undoing on behalf of Genevieve, not as an inconvenience, but as a noble way to reflect you.
If you've had a baby- you're nodding your head right now- perhaps vigorously. If you haven't, you may be wondering what I am referring to. I'd love to tell you, but this isn't the appropriate place : ) However, I do encourage you to find a godly woman you can trust to ask about it. Beware of women who have NOTHING good to say- that's not helpful. But someone who can be honest, gentle, and hopeful about what your body goes through as it recovers and learns to breastfeed.
One of the MANY benefits of natural childbirth is that the recovery is easier. Because I had been doing certain exercises, I had no rips, tears or stitches. Because I could feel each contraction, and therefore relax through it, I have no lingering pains in my abdomen or back.
However, nursing has caused me some grief. But thanks to lots of ladies who have encouraged me that it doesn't last forever, I am able to press on and feed my baby the best food for her. And even in 6 days, I've seen lots of improvement.
I read something last night that encouraged my heart in this matter and that I wanted to share with you. It just so happens that this woman's timing is the exact same as mine (2 weeks prior to Easter). These thoughts are helping to keep my heart focused.
From Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic:
"My very kind and wise husband once left a note for me on Easter morning, two weeks after Daphne was born. He wrote, 'To my wife, before she even goes near the closet on Easter morning,' or something romantic like that. In it, he encouraged me to realize that there was no more fitting way to celebrate Easter (or any part of the Christian life) than in a body that has been undone on behalf of another."
I teared up when I read that last night and when I had Ross read it and when I type it now. Jesus' body was brutally undone... for us. I may be sore and tired and rundown. I can complain about all of this- or I can rejoice that I am suffering, in such a small way, like Christ did.
Thanks, Jesus- for becoming undone on behalf of me. May I see my own undoing on behalf of Genevieve, not as an inconvenience, but as a noble way to reflect you.
Postpartum RollerCoaster
It's easy for me to forget that for 95% of you, what I blog is all that you see. So when I blog something tender and honest and saddening, you don't know that things are better until I blog something tender and honest and joyful.
A dear friend came for a visit yesterday and reminded me that my hormones are crashing. She strongly suggested that I not blog while they crash. I have to respectfully disagree with her. I think it's beneficial for you to see this whole roller coaster of emotions. All of you.
There are basically 3 types of people reading my blog:
A dear friend came for a visit yesterday and reminded me that my hormones are crashing. She strongly suggested that I not blog while they crash. I have to respectfully disagree with her. I think it's beneficial for you to see this whole roller coaster of emotions. All of you.
There are basically 3 types of people reading my blog:
- Those of you who don't have children yet. You girls are so much on my heart right now!! I want you to see the whole process. The extreme joys and the extreme tears. Our society, honestly, even the church, doesn't talk enough about the long spectrum of emotions that new moms face. All I heard before Caleb was born was that I was going to be a great mom. A few days into motherhood- with a baby that would not eat and would not sleep- I was sure I had failed. It took several months for me to stop crying every day and realize that I was doing the best that I could and that God was redeeming the rest and that was more than enough. I don't want that for you girls. I want you to know some of what to expect- even if it's just to expect the unexpected- so when you're crying at 2am in the morning, you don't feel like a failure- you feel like an exhausted daughter who needs to be leaning on her strong Father.
- Then there are those of you who are right here with me- to quote Rachel Jankovic- we're together here "in the trenches." We need to know that we're not alone. God has given us Christian sisters to lean on, learn from and support. That only happens if we're honest about our situation and our emotions. Satan wants us to suffer alone. God wants us to humble ourselves and for us to let Him use us to bless and encourage one another.
- Finally, there are those of you who are past this stage. You've survived! We need you more than ever. We need to know that we will sleep again, fit in our favorite date night dress again, be able to handle more than just eating, diaper changing and laundry again. And we need you to tell us. With a smile and a hug. And we need to hear it often, because the Enemy is lying to us often. And we need practical help, too. Remember in James' epistle when he asks us what good it is to see a brother in need, tell him to be warm and then walk away without meeting his physical needs? It does a little good to tell a new mom to cheer up and things will get better. It does soooo much good to tell a new mom to cheer up, bring her a meal and hold her baby so that she can take a shower before her husband comes home.
- I guess, there may be 4 groups of people who read my blog. There are the guys, too. I hope my honesty opens your eyes to the women around you. They are just as emotional and up-and-down as I am. I hope my honesty reminds you to be tender towards them. If you are married to "wash your wife in the Word" and to find little, practical ways to show your love (which is a dim, yet beautiful, reflection of the Father's love) for her.
So I'm going to continue blogging. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Today has been very good. Genevieve slept great last night. I got 3 1/2 hours of straight sleep! (Some of you are rejoicing with me, some of you are just remembering what that joy feels like, some of you don't think you could ever survive motherhood. All of those responses are okay : ) )
So she slept well and she is nursing great. Some of that pain has subsided. And she's filling herself up. Her face even looks a little fuller.
And my boys are so sweet. Ross and Caleb have always had a precious relationship, but Caleb is really connecting with his daddy. During the 11pm feeding last night, Ross told me how he likes taking Caleb places. They had gone to the pharmacy for me and Ross was telling me how fun it is to go places with "his little buddy." My heart was filling up : )
Today, my parents are over. Dad held Genevieve so I could take a nice, long shower (I even got to shave my legs!) Now he's helping Ross around the house. Mom's playing with Caleb and working on the laundry.
And I'm sitting here sharing this rollercoaster ride with you. I'm glad you're here. I hope you are enjoying the ride : )
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