At last week's bridal shower, I had the opportunity to share 3 truths with the bride. I told her that I was so glad that I had that opportunity- because I needed to remind myself of a few things as well!
Isn't it so easy, when you are married, to fall into lies and discouragement? I hope this post (and the two to follow, hopefully :) ) will bring hope to your heart!
Truth #1: God did not create marriage primarily for our happiness, but our holiness.
Satan lies to us from several angles in this regard. When we are little girls, we hear fairy tales where Prince Charming comes, marries the girl and they live (say it with me now...) "Happily Ever After!" When we're older- a small part of our heart is convinced that if we could just get a man to commit to us... we'd be happier.
Yet, at the same time, Satan's telling men that marriage will weigh them down. That it won't be any fun. Girls are sitting around waiting for marriage so their happy life can start. Men drag their feet, because they're convinced as soon as they do, their happy life will end.
But the truth, my friends, is that marriage IS a happy establishment. God saw that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone. Life in the perfect garden with the perfect God- was still a little lonely. God gave Eve to Adam as a gift- a gift of happiness.
I told Marisa last week that marriage is full of happy moments. If you are married, take a minute to think of them. The joy of your wedding day. The sweetness of late night conversations. The moments when you know what each other is thinking. The simple pleasure of a quiet dinner together. The exhilaration of love making. The excitement of delivering a baby together. Marriage is a happy thing.
Sometimes.
While God did mean for marriage to be a glorious, happy institution- that's not all He is concerned with. Mature Christians know this full well- my happiness is not his top priority.
He is, however, extremely concerned with my sanctification. Am I becoming more like His son Christ Jesus? Am I producing fruit? These questions are in the forefront of His mind.
And marriage is the perfect institution to develop character and fruit.
If you are married, take a minute to think of the last time you had to be loving towards your selfish husband, or joyful while doing what he wanted to do, or peaceful when you just wanted to scream, or patient when he wasn't doing things your way, or kind when he had just hurt your feelings, or good when you wanted to be bad, or gentle when harsh words filled your mind, or faithful when surely it would be more fun to be married to anybody else or self-controlled when you wanted to explode in anger.
These are some pretty vivid examples, but I'm sure you're nodding your head at at-least one of them. (I'm working hard on the patience one...)
Now take a minute to think of what you would have been nodding your head to when you were first married. Are things any different now? Has your character been developed? Even just a little more patient, or kind or loving or gentle?
See. God knew what He was doing. Isn't He good? He's at work. Rejoice as He perfects you. Character is developed in lots of different ways- in lots of different situations. Christians grow through trials and persecutions. While walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
I'm thankful that I can grow a little bit, each day, as I hold hands with my best friend. And I'm thankful God is at work perfecting him, too... as he deals with sinful little me!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Overflowing Truth
I love what happens when you saturate your heart with the truth- when you pour it into your mind and soul. It just kinda spills out unexpectedly.
This morning, I was writing in a graduation card for one of our highschool students. I wanted to encourage her to trust in the LORD always. I learned that hard and fast during my college years and I wanted her to know that He is fully trustworthy.
So I put my pen to the paper and these words flowed out:
He knows you best
And loves you most
And all His ways are good.
I hope she clings to those truths found in Psalm 139, John 3:16 and Jeremiah 29:11.
I hope you have a chance to meditate on them today.
I'm so glad that they are ingrained so deep in my heart that they just flow out : )
This morning, I was writing in a graduation card for one of our highschool students. I wanted to encourage her to trust in the LORD always. I learned that hard and fast during my college years and I wanted her to know that He is fully trustworthy.
So I put my pen to the paper and these words flowed out:
He knows you best
And loves you most
And all His ways are good.
I hope she clings to those truths found in Psalm 139, John 3:16 and Jeremiah 29:11.
I hope you have a chance to meditate on them today.
I'm so glad that they are ingrained so deep in my heart that they just flow out : )
Friday, May 18, 2012
Please Clean My... Heart
Thanks so much for commenting yesterday! It was fun to read your tips on keeping your house in order. And it was interesting to see how at different stages in family life, cleaning looks different. I eagerly await the day when the little hands around here can help- and when I can clean while they sleep. (Right now- it's all about sleeping when they're sleeping!!)
I'm glad the mommies who work full-time commented, too. It's wonderful that you can hire someone to help or simply accept the fact that the house is going to be a little messy during this stage.
All of this reminded me that I forgot to mention the most important part:
Aren't you glad God is more concerned with the condition of our hearts than the condition of our homes??
He's looking for hearts that love Him above all else.
He's looking for hearts that happily help their husbands.
He's looking for hearts that are submissive to His will.
He's looking for hearts that sacrificially love the children that He has given them.
He's looking for hearts that eagerly open their home and share their resources.
So the physical things we do are important. Our families should be able to walk around our homes without fear of tripping over a million things. We should be able to prepare food in a relatively sanitary kitchen. We should be able to wear non-smelly clothes : )
But in the end, God is not looking at how clean, or unclean, our homes are. He's looking at how clean, or unclean, our hearts are. And He's the only one who can scrub those clean.
He's really great at it, too. You simply have to ask him : )
I'm glad the mommies who work full-time commented, too. It's wonderful that you can hire someone to help or simply accept the fact that the house is going to be a little messy during this stage.
All of this reminded me that I forgot to mention the most important part:
Aren't you glad God is more concerned with the condition of our hearts than the condition of our homes??
He's looking for hearts that love Him above all else.
He's looking for hearts that happily help their husbands.
He's looking for hearts that are submissive to His will.
He's looking for hearts that sacrificially love the children that He has given them.
He's looking for hearts that eagerly open their home and share their resources.
So the physical things we do are important. Our families should be able to walk around our homes without fear of tripping over a million things. We should be able to prepare food in a relatively sanitary kitchen. We should be able to wear non-smelly clothes : )
But in the end, God is not looking at how clean, or unclean, our homes are. He's looking at how clean, or unclean, our hearts are. And He's the only one who can scrub those clean.
He's really great at it, too. You simply have to ask him : )
Psalm 51[a]
For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is[b] a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.
18 May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,
in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
My Busy Day
Sometimes I wonder if you all wonder if I actually do what I say I want to do - if I really follow through with things. Today, I did. I want to share that joy with you and also ask you for some input : )
Today was my "busy at home" day. It was actually quite productive. Which is surprising with a 20-month-old and a 7-week-old. There have been many days when I've wanted to be productive and all that's been done is mess-making and hair-pulling-out-ing...
But today was good. I was able to focus. Caleb was content playing alongside my working. And I figured out a system with Genevieve that worked well.
So I am pleased- knowing that a day this productive doesn't come along very often.
Now I have questions for you. Think back to one of your most productive "busy at home" days.
What made it so productive?
Do you tackle everything in one day or do you spread it out?
If you spread things out- what does that look like?
How do you fit in cleaning and organizing with everyday activities?
How do you keep your kids (or husband or whomever...) from immediately undoing what you just did?
Or... if that is impossible- how do you guard your heart from discouragement when that happens?
I want to hear from you! And I want you to be able to share your tips and learn from others.
My day was most productive for 2 reasons.
1) All I had on the agenda today was to clean. No plans to go anywhere or see anybody. I didn't even talk on the phone or open the computer till noon. That's how I stay focused. Getting started right away and not interrupting myself!
2) The Moby wrap. It's a large piece of fabric that you wrap around yourself and then you are able to "wear" your baby. It kept Genevieve happy, close and safe from her big brother. : ) It also gave me a little more of a workout while cleaning. I'm all about multitasking.
So... how do you make it work? : )
Today was my "busy at home" day. It was actually quite productive. Which is surprising with a 20-month-old and a 7-week-old. There have been many days when I've wanted to be productive and all that's been done is mess-making and hair-pulling-out-ing...
But today was good. I was able to focus. Caleb was content playing alongside my working. And I figured out a system with Genevieve that worked well.
So I am pleased- knowing that a day this productive doesn't come along very often.
Now I have questions for you. Think back to one of your most productive "busy at home" days.
What made it so productive?
Do you tackle everything in one day or do you spread it out?
If you spread things out- what does that look like?
How do you fit in cleaning and organizing with everyday activities?
How do you keep your kids (or husband or whomever...) from immediately undoing what you just did?
Or... if that is impossible- how do you guard your heart from discouragement when that happens?
I want to hear from you! And I want you to be able to share your tips and learn from others.
My day was most productive for 2 reasons.
1) All I had on the agenda today was to clean. No plans to go anywhere or see anybody. I didn't even talk on the phone or open the computer till noon. That's how I stay focused. Getting started right away and not interrupting myself!
2) The Moby wrap. It's a large piece of fabric that you wrap around yourself and then you are able to "wear" your baby. It kept Genevieve happy, close and safe from her big brother. : ) It also gave me a little more of a workout while cleaning. I'm all about multitasking.
So... how do you make it work? : )
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Shower Rules
Growing up, I always attended bridal and baby showers with my family. They thought it was important that I learn how to behave myself at such lady-like functions. I always enjoyed myself (what fun to think of getting married and having babies some day!) and always asked plenty of questions (why did somebody give Aunt Kim pajamas that looked like a silky bikini?)
Through all these experiences, I learned that there are some "rules" about showers. Here are just a few:
1) Showers are about presents. That's the point. If you aren't going to bring a present, don't come.
2) You only invite people to showers if they are invited to the wedding. To get a shower invite without a wedding invite is rude.
3) You only get one baby shower. Doesn't matter how many babies you have. Maybe, just maybe you'll have a second one if your second baby is a different kind than your first baby. Maybe.
4) If the host has lots of money, she'll feed you lunch and cake. Just a little money? Just cake. But there will always, always be cake.
5) It can not be a quick affair. Plan on at least 2 hours. If you stay at least 2 hours, you've been polite and you can leave- but don't be surprised if it eats up an entire afteroon.
I helped host a bridal shower last night for a sweet young girl at church. We broke several of the rules just mentioned. (We invited EVERY woman in the congregation!) And we had a fabulous time. So here's an updated list : )
1) Showers are about blessings. You can bless with physical gifts, for sure. But blessings of prayer, support and encouragement are far more important. While they are not "free" they don't cost a penny. (A note about physical gifts- group gifts are "IN!" So give $5 to the host, if that's all you can afford to go towards that vacuum cleaner or double stroller. Don't not come just because you can't spend $50.)
2) People can't afford to invite everyone they know to their wedding. Your husband doesn't want to go to everybody's wedding anyway : ) This rule is silly. Be generous and loving at every opportunity.
3) If it's all about blessings and not all about presents- then why not have a baby shower for every baby? (Hopefully you have a wedding shower for every wedding- and that should be only one :) ) It's good to be prayed over for every child. Besides, kids are messy and hard on things. Every mom could use a few new outfits and a new changing pad, too.
4) Rule number 3 means there will be more showers given and rule number 2 means there will be more invited. So don't judge the host. She's just trying to love on a sweet friend. Ask if you can bring an appetizer to share. And enjoy your piece of cake : )
5) People are busy. They have families and homes to care for. So bless. Bless well. Bless quickly. A game if you must, some time for encouragement and prayer, gifts, then a time of fellowship at the end for women who can stay- a time to escape for women who must go. No need to take up a whole afternoon or.... what about giving a shower in the evening??
I've told you the rules have changed- surely, for the better : )
Through all these experiences, I learned that there are some "rules" about showers. Here are just a few:
1) Showers are about presents. That's the point. If you aren't going to bring a present, don't come.
2) You only invite people to showers if they are invited to the wedding. To get a shower invite without a wedding invite is rude.
3) You only get one baby shower. Doesn't matter how many babies you have. Maybe, just maybe you'll have a second one if your second baby is a different kind than your first baby. Maybe.
4) If the host has lots of money, she'll feed you lunch and cake. Just a little money? Just cake. But there will always, always be cake.
5) It can not be a quick affair. Plan on at least 2 hours. If you stay at least 2 hours, you've been polite and you can leave- but don't be surprised if it eats up an entire afteroon.
I helped host a bridal shower last night for a sweet young girl at church. We broke several of the rules just mentioned. (We invited EVERY woman in the congregation!) And we had a fabulous time. So here's an updated list : )
1) Showers are about blessings. You can bless with physical gifts, for sure. But blessings of prayer, support and encouragement are far more important. While they are not "free" they don't cost a penny. (A note about physical gifts- group gifts are "IN!" So give $5 to the host, if that's all you can afford to go towards that vacuum cleaner or double stroller. Don't not come just because you can't spend $50.)
2) People can't afford to invite everyone they know to their wedding. Your husband doesn't want to go to everybody's wedding anyway : ) This rule is silly. Be generous and loving at every opportunity.
3) If it's all about blessings and not all about presents- then why not have a baby shower for every baby? (Hopefully you have a wedding shower for every wedding- and that should be only one :) ) It's good to be prayed over for every child. Besides, kids are messy and hard on things. Every mom could use a few new outfits and a new changing pad, too.
4) Rule number 3 means there will be more showers given and rule number 2 means there will be more invited. So don't judge the host. She's just trying to love on a sweet friend. Ask if you can bring an appetizer to share. And enjoy your piece of cake : )
5) People are busy. They have families and homes to care for. So bless. Bless well. Bless quickly. A game if you must, some time for encouragement and prayer, gifts, then a time of fellowship at the end for women who can stay- a time to escape for women who must go. No need to take up a whole afternoon or.... what about giving a shower in the evening??
I've told you the rules have changed- surely, for the better : )
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I'm His Genevieve
When you do something as crazy as having a baby at home, on accident... you're bound to get a bit of criticism.
"What were you thinking?"
"Didn't you know you were in labor?"
"Next time... you should go to the hospital 3 weeks early!"
At 7 weeks postpartum, I can handle the flack pretty well.
At 2 days postpartum, though, I was blessed with the fact that no one was questioning what I had done.
The 911 operator didn't scold me.
Not one firefighter shamed me.
None of the nurses at the hospital reprimanded me.
The midwife, with eyes wide and bright, simply wanted to hear my story.
No one questioned me- and that was good. Because the last thing that a new mom needs to hear is that she just did something wrong.
Just one person, a few hours postpartum, showed disapproval of what I had done:
My dad.
"Drusie, didn't we tell you that the 2nd one comes faster? Baby, why didn't you go to the hospital?"
At first, I was hurt by these comments. Didn't he know that this was the coolest thing I had ever done? We were okay. Nobody was hurt. In all actuality, it was fun!
And then I realized it:
I'm his Genevieve.
I'm his baby girl, trying to act like a grown-up. Never mind that everything turned out fine and it was a good story. Just the thought- the slightest thought-of something happening to his baby girl- was unbearable.
There's something so precious about having a baby girl. It's different than having a boy. I want Caleb to be strong and manly. I want him to be brave and fight for what's right. But Genevieve is like a flower. Please admire. Please handle with care. Don't you dare hurt my baby girl.
So glad I have a Genevieve.
So glad I'm somebody's Genevieve.
"What were you thinking?"
"Didn't you know you were in labor?"
"Next time... you should go to the hospital 3 weeks early!"
At 7 weeks postpartum, I can handle the flack pretty well.
At 2 days postpartum, though, I was blessed with the fact that no one was questioning what I had done.
The 911 operator didn't scold me.
Not one firefighter shamed me.
None of the nurses at the hospital reprimanded me.
The midwife, with eyes wide and bright, simply wanted to hear my story.
No one questioned me- and that was good. Because the last thing that a new mom needs to hear is that she just did something wrong.
Just one person, a few hours postpartum, showed disapproval of what I had done:
My dad.
"Drusie, didn't we tell you that the 2nd one comes faster? Baby, why didn't you go to the hospital?"
At first, I was hurt by these comments. Didn't he know that this was the coolest thing I had ever done? We were okay. Nobody was hurt. In all actuality, it was fun!
And then I realized it:
I'm his Genevieve.
I'm his baby girl, trying to act like a grown-up. Never mind that everything turned out fine and it was a good story. Just the thought- the slightest thought-of something happening to his baby girl- was unbearable.
There's something so precious about having a baby girl. It's different than having a boy. I want Caleb to be strong and manly. I want him to be brave and fight for what's right. But Genevieve is like a flower. Please admire. Please handle with care. Don't you dare hurt my baby girl.
So glad I have a Genevieve.
So glad I'm somebody's Genevieve.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Bringing My Heart Home
When Ross and I were first married, I LOVED the idea of being a homemaker. Ross had lived in a house for four years- so I had a real home to decorate and care for. I loved it. I spent that first summer and my last semester of college gladly cooking, cleaning and decorating. It was fun.
Then, I student taught and started teaching school. I came home so very tired. I would cook- and that was about it. Cleaning happened, but only when someone was coming to dinner : ) Decorating stopped almost completely.
Then Caleb came. And I was home... constantly. And I really wanted to be anywhere but home. It suddenly was so boring and mundane. Although I was home constantly... caring for him was so overwhelming... again, cooking would happen, but little else. Cleaning and caring for our home seemed like such a huge task. And a very not-fun-one at that.
One afternoon, Caleb was sleeping in my arms and I was reading Feminine Appeal-a book we have a love-hate relationship with... (I love it, many of you hate it... we can still all be friends : ) ) The book is an expostion of Titus 2. I was reading the chapter on "being busy at home."
I don't know if you know it or not, but in Titus (which is in the Bible :)) women are COMMANDED to be busy at home. That's so counter-cultural, you know? Society drives us to be busy everywhere- work, school, shopping, even church- everywhere except home. Yet, God, in all of His wisdom, tells us to get busy in the simplest place.
The chapter I was reading encouraged me to change my outlook on housework and homemaking. Stop looking at it as mundane and boring. Stop thinking it's too much. Start loving your husband and your children and honoring your God in the simplest place. Love the LORD your God by doing the dishes.
I know what I just wrote is so not politically correct. But it's biblical. : )
Now let's fast forward 18 months....
Caleb and Genevieve and I were very busy this morning- we were out and about with my mom. First, the social security office (oh, the joys...) then Target, then lunch and some frozen yogurt (yum!). A few moments ago, I was sitting on the couch, going over the rest of the week in my head. Genevieve is getting her pictures taken this week. We have a few social engagements. Now, when am I going to mop the kitchen floor?
That thought made me smile so big! God is doing a good work in my heart! The thought of mopping the kitchen floor- a year and a half ago- would have made me want to puke. Now, it's a reasonable thought. It's a task that needs to be done. A task that honors my husband and my God. I need to set aside time to do it : )
Thanks, God, for stirring my heart towards things of you. Thanks for bringing my heart home : )
Then, I student taught and started teaching school. I came home so very tired. I would cook- and that was about it. Cleaning happened, but only when someone was coming to dinner : ) Decorating stopped almost completely.
Then Caleb came. And I was home... constantly. And I really wanted to be anywhere but home. It suddenly was so boring and mundane. Although I was home constantly... caring for him was so overwhelming... again, cooking would happen, but little else. Cleaning and caring for our home seemed like such a huge task. And a very not-fun-one at that.
One afternoon, Caleb was sleeping in my arms and I was reading Feminine Appeal-a book we have a love-hate relationship with... (I love it, many of you hate it... we can still all be friends : ) ) The book is an expostion of Titus 2. I was reading the chapter on "being busy at home."
I don't know if you know it or not, but in Titus (which is in the Bible :)) women are COMMANDED to be busy at home. That's so counter-cultural, you know? Society drives us to be busy everywhere- work, school, shopping, even church- everywhere except home. Yet, God, in all of His wisdom, tells us to get busy in the simplest place.
The chapter I was reading encouraged me to change my outlook on housework and homemaking. Stop looking at it as mundane and boring. Stop thinking it's too much. Start loving your husband and your children and honoring your God in the simplest place. Love the LORD your God by doing the dishes.
I know what I just wrote is so not politically correct. But it's biblical. : )
Now let's fast forward 18 months....
Caleb and Genevieve and I were very busy this morning- we were out and about with my mom. First, the social security office (oh, the joys...) then Target, then lunch and some frozen yogurt (yum!). A few moments ago, I was sitting on the couch, going over the rest of the week in my head. Genevieve is getting her pictures taken this week. We have a few social engagements. Now, when am I going to mop the kitchen floor?
That thought made me smile so big! God is doing a good work in my heart! The thought of mopping the kitchen floor- a year and a half ago- would have made me want to puke. Now, it's a reasonable thought. It's a task that needs to be done. A task that honors my husband and my God. I need to set aside time to do it : )
Thanks, God, for stirring my heart towards things of you. Thanks for bringing my heart home : )
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